Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays,
people
have more higher education, it makes the
society
seriously competitive. There are few
people
agruing
Correct your spelling
arguing
that
competition
makes
people
motivated at
company
Add an article
the company
a company
show examples
, at school and in daily
rutine
Correct your spelling
routine
routines
.
However
, other
people
believe that assisting and cooperating with each other is more significant than competing against other
people
. From my perspective, helping each other is the best way in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society
.
From
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In
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some
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
opinion, competing with
others
is
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
beneficial for
people
. When
doing
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
competition
at work and school,
people
can be motivated by
others
and try to think
how
Change preposition
about how
show examples
to achieve the goal they set more rapidly rather than other
people
.
Also
, the
competition
enables
people
to improve their skills and abilities,
such
as time management and setting
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
efficient strategies to acquire the object.
On the contrary
, other
people
say that cooperating is more beneficial than competing with
people
. If there is only
the
Correct article usage
apply
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competition
with
collegues
Correct your spelling
colleagues
,
people
will always detect
others
and
people
won't believe
others
.
Therefore
, it is able to have
an
Change the article
a
show examples
bad effect on the
companies
and the world. Yet, if there is
the
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apply
show examples
cooperation in
the
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apply
show examples
society
, it helps
people
improve their workflow and social skills. In my opinion,
people
should cooperate with
others
. There are 2 reasons
that
Correct word choice
apply
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why they help
collegues
Correct your spelling
colleagues
or friends. First of all, cooperation makes the workflow
smoothly
Change the word
smooth
show examples
.
For example
, in the company, there are many salarymen and they always try to cooperate with other
companies
. Using other
companies
'
resource
Fix the agreement mistake
resources
show examples
, they can manage their company stably and
also
other
companise
Correct your spelling
companies
use other
companies
'
resource
Fix the agreement mistake
resources
show examples
to make their product and improve their workflow.
Thus
, cooperating is a significant element in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
daily life.
Although
the
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apply
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competition
makes
people
's work efficiency to
be improve
Change the verb form
be improved
be improving
show examples
,
cooperaration
Correct your spelling
cooperation
not only helps improve
people
's social skills but
also
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
makes
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
more kindly. Cooperation is the most essential point in the
society
.
Submitted by lizehua041210 on

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coherence cohesion
To achieve a higher score, try to organize your ideas more logically and make sure that each paragraph flows smoothly to the next. Consider using transitional phrases to link your points together.
task achievement
Ensure that all your points are clearly and comprehensively developed. Some of the ideas presented are a bit vague or generalized; try to include more specific examples or details to support your arguments.
task achievement
You have addressed both views on the topic, showing an understanding of the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and provide a good framework for your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
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