Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Nowadays,
people
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have more higher education, it makes the
society
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seriously competitive. There are few
people
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agruing
Correct your spelling
arguing
that
competition
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makes
people
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motivated at
company
Add an article
the company
a company
show examples
, at school and in daily
rutine
Correct your spelling
routine
routines
.
However
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, other
people
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believe that assisting and cooperating with each other is more significant than competing against other
people
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. From my perspective, helping each other is the best way in
the
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apply
show examples
society
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.
From
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In
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some
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people
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people's
show examples
opinion, competing with
others
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is
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
beneficial for
people
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. When
doing
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
competition
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at work and school,
people
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can be motivated by
others
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and try to think
how
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about how
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to achieve the goal they set more rapidly rather than other
people
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.
Also
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, the
competition
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enables
people
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to improve their skills and abilities,
such
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as time management and setting
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
efficient strategies to acquire the object.
On the contrary
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, other
people
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say that cooperating is more beneficial than competing with
people
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. If there is only
the
Correct article usage
apply
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competition
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with
collegues
Correct your spelling
colleagues
,
people
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will always detect
others
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and
people
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won't believe
others
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.
Therefore
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, it is able to have
an
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a
show examples
bad effect on the
companies
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and the world. Yet, if there is
the
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apply
show examples
cooperation in
the
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apply
show examples
society
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, it helps
people
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improve their workflow and social skills. In my opinion,
people
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should cooperate with
others
Use synonyms
. There are 2 reasons
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
why they help
collegues
Correct your spelling
colleagues
or friends. First of all, cooperation makes the workflow
smoothly
Change the word
smooth
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, in the company, there are many salarymen and they always try to cooperate with other
companies
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. Using other
companies
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'
resource
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resources
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, they can manage their company stably and
also
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other
companise
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companies
use other
companies
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'
resource
Fix the agreement mistake
resources
show examples
to make their product and improve their workflow.
Thus
Linking Words
, cooperating is a significant element in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
daily life.
Although
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
competition
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makes
people
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's work efficiency to
be improve
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be improved
be improving
show examples
,
cooperaration
Correct your spelling
cooperation
not only helps improve
people
Use synonyms
's social skills but
also
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it
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apply
show examples
makes
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
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more kindly. Cooperation is the most essential point in the
society
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by lizehua041210 on

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coherence cohesion
To achieve a higher score, try to organize your ideas more logically and make sure that each paragraph flows smoothly to the next. Consider using transitional phrases to link your points together.
task achievement
Ensure that all your points are clearly and comprehensively developed. Some of the ideas presented are a bit vague or generalized; try to include more specific examples or details to support your arguments.
task achievement
You have addressed both views on the topic, showing an understanding of the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and provide a good framework for your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
What to do next:
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