In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

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In the current era, most countries believe that young people join to enrol in work

instead

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of attending university. some people argue that and say it is essential for teenagers,

while

Linking Words

; others refuse

this

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trend to cause some

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

. In the following essay, we explore several advantages which outnumber disadvantages, and I will mention my perspective viewpoints. On the one hand, more and more individuals tend to give students training after secondary school which has majority causes. The principal reason is that youngsters acquire an awareness of challenges in lifestyle. many teenagers have no responsibility for the risk of life.

This

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training leads them to the success goal.

For example

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, my little brother was lazy and depended on my mom in everything in life and

this

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year after attending to enrol in work, he became more aware of difficulties in cooking, cleaning and working.

Therefore

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, he feels comfortable about his responsibilities.

On the other hand

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, the public suffers from

this

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situation which should provide some needs for their young. most parents are scared to let them in

this

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training and say their children do not take adequate time to grow.

In addition

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, moms in the world see their teenagers are still babies and need them. I remember an article published in AL Watan newspaper in 2010 shows " a lot of women are scared to let children learn or train a new thing and all the time need them beside her". In conclusion, I am convinced the positives

Outweigh

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outweigh

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the drawbacks.

Therefore

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, parents should encourage their young to work hard and not depend on them.

Additionally

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, the government should put a clear strict to deal with the category of young and give them appropriate chance to communicate with each other.

lailakhalil3Sun Sep 22 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines the main points you will be discussing. This helps set the stage for your argument.

coherence cohesion

Work on providing a clearer logical structure within each paragraph. Ensure every sentence contributes directly to your argument.

task achievement

Try to provide more specific and varied examples to support your points. This will improve the relevance and depth of your ideas.

task achievement

Clarify your arguments further to make your ideas more comprehensive and easier to follow. Avoid using vague phrases.

task achievement

You have made a good attempt at discussing both sides of the argument, which shows balance in your essay.

task achievement

You have included a personal example, which can help illustrate your points and make your argument more relatable.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which is essential for a coherent structure.

8
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

290 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

work-based training
enrol
university
advantages
disadvantages
practical skills
experience
workforce
employment
earnings
opportunities
further education
theoretical knowledge
career options
exploitation
balance

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In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

it is the duty of government to fight with obesity by imposing taxes. agree or disagree

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extend do you agree or disagree ?