In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

In the current era, most countries believe that young people join to enrol in work
instead
of attending university. some people argue that and say it is essential for teenagers,
while
; others refuse
this
trend to cause some
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
. In the following essay, we explore several advantages which outnumber disadvantages, and I will mention my perspective viewpoints. On the one hand, more and more individuals tend to give students training after secondary school which has majority causes. The principal reason is that youngsters acquire an awareness of challenges in lifestyle. many teenagers have no responsibility for the risk of life.
This
training leads them to the success goal.
For example
, my little brother was lazy and depended on my mom in everything in life and
this
year after attending to enrol in work, he became more aware of difficulties in cooking, cleaning and working.
Therefore
, he feels comfortable about his responsibilities.
On the other hand
, the public suffers from
this
situation which should provide some needs for their young. most parents are scared to let them in
this
training and say their children do not take adequate time to grow.
In addition
, moms in the world see their teenagers are still babies and need them. I remember an article published in AL Watan newspaper in 2010 shows " a lot of women are scared to let children learn or train a new thing and all the time need them beside her". In conclusion, I am convinced the positives
Outweigh
Fix capitalization
outweigh
show examples
the drawbacks.
Therefore
, parents should encourage their young to work hard and not depend on them.
Additionally
, the government should put a clear strict to deal with the category of young and give them appropriate chance to communicate with each other.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines the main points you will be discussing. This helps set the stage for your argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on providing a clearer logical structure within each paragraph. Ensure every sentence contributes directly to your argument.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific and varied examples to support your points. This will improve the relevance and depth of your ideas.
task achievement
Clarify your arguments further to make your ideas more comprehensive and easier to follow. Avoid using vague phrases.
task achievement
You have made a good attempt at discussing both sides of the argument, which shows balance in your essay.
task achievement
You have included a personal example, which can help illustrate your points and make your argument more relatable.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which is essential for a coherent structure.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-based training
  • enrol
  • university
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • practical skills
  • experience
  • workforce
  • employment
  • earnings
  • opportunities
  • further education
  • theoretical knowledge
  • career options
  • exploitation
  • balance
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