These days people are living in their 90s and beyond. As a result, there is increasing concern about care of the elderly. Do you think it is the responsiblity of the family to take care of their elderly member or should the government be held responsible?
There is a huge emphasis
about
Change preposition
on
care
of the elderly people
. Nowadays, they have life long
Correct your spelling
lifelong
period
they are living in their 90s and more. It is argued if it is family or Fix the agreement mistake
periods
government
responsibility. I believe that it
both Correct pronoun usage
apply
side
are Fix the agreement mistake
sides
response
but Replace the word
responsive
government
Correct article usage
the government
have
more duties to increase the Correct subject-verb agreement
has
care
of elderly
.
Correct article usage
the elderly
To begin
with, family members are not always available to take care
of their
elderly. Change the word
the
Moreover
, people
spent
many hours at work, school, and university in order to live Wrong verb form
spend
in
a good economic level. Change preposition
at
Furthermore
, in some instances
Add a comma
instances,
people
need to change their places and go to study abroad due the
high competition we live throughChange preposition
to the
it
. Correct pronoun usage
apply
In addition
, they do not have the
enough time to keep taking Remove the article
apply
care
of their parents or grandparents.
On the other hand
, government
have a significant impact on elderly Add an article
the government
care
by improving the hospitals
qualities. The long-life Change to a genitive case
hospital's
hospitals'
people
they
have had many medical illnesses Correct pronoun usage
apply
such
as diabetes, hypertension and heart problems. Moreover
, they need to have a good quality medical care
experience. In addition
, to gain a high-level medical services
and priority for the elderly Correct the article-noun agreement
high-level medical services
a high-level medical service
people
the government
should spend more money in
Change preposition
on
hospitals
improvement. An example,Change the noun form
hospital
in
UAE hospitals Change preposition
apply
they
have Correct pronoun usage
apply
a specific elderly
Correct the article-noun agreement
specific elderly care clinics
a specific elderly care clinic
care
clinics which can tackle the issue of waiting for long
time for elderly checkup Change the article
a long
appointment
at Fix the agreement mistake
appointments
hospital
.
Add an article
the hospital
To conclude
, The
both sectors Correct article usage
apply
plays
a significant role in Change the verb form
play
elderlies
Replace the word
elderly
cares
. Correct subject-verb agreement
care
However
, the government
have the
essential responsibilities Correct article usage
apply
due to
the low quality
services Add a hyphen
low-quality
at
health Change preposition
in
care
. Moreover
, family members are not available 24 hours to take care
of their elderly.Submitted by rahafalkhashti7 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and provide smoother transitions between points for better logical flow.
task achievement
Work on elaborating and developing ideas more clearly to enhance clarity and comprehensiveness.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, fulfilling the task requirement.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, providing a clear structure to the essay.
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