IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

in spite of advancements made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. why is this case? What can be done about this problem?

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Although
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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farming methods have been developed today, starvation is one
the
Change preposition
of the
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 most fundamental issues that many people are still dealing with. There are several reasons for
this
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peoblem
Correct your spelling
problem
 which will be discussed in
this
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 essay and
then
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, some solutions will be suggested to tackle it. It is clearly true that agricultural techniques have experienced so many advancements, but some
cutting-adge
Correct your spelling
cutting-edge
 farming tools, supplies and methods are too
expensiv
Correct your spelling
expensive
 that some third-world
countries
Use synonyms
 cannot afford them.
Consequently
Linking Words
, farmers in these
countries
Use synonyms
 resort to traditional approaches
of
Change preposition
to
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 agriculture, which can lead to wrong usage of resources and damaging crops.
For example
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, manual cultivation done by individuals is significantly slower than mechanical way, leading to some crops
go
Verb problem
apply
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rot.
In addition
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, The high population of some
countries
Use synonyms
 makes it difficult to provide
food
Use synonyms
 for every single person in
that
Correct determiner usage
those
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countries
Use synonyms
.
Lastly
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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food
Use synonyms
 is usually wasted in some societies
such
Linking Words
 as those in developing
countries
Use synonyms
. There are numerous solutions to address the global famish.
Firstly
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, the excess
food
Use synonyms
 should be collected in developed
countries
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
food
Use synonyms
 can be moved to
coutries
Correct your spelling
countries
 with hunger
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
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 like some
african
Change the capitalization
African
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countries
Use synonyms
 and distributed among them. Another action that can be done is that in developing
countries
Use synonyms
, the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 can use initiatives to educate the public about
the
Correct article usage
apply
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global starvation .
Therefore
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, people don't waste
food
Use synonyms
 and may share it with famished individuals.
Finally
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, reacher
countries
Use synonyms
 should consider giving third-world
countries
Use synonyms
 loans to help them develop their farming tools. In conclusion, so many
advancement
Change to a plural noun
advancements
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has
Wrong verb form
have been
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 made in farming, but obviously
the
Correct article usage
apply
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hunger still exists
among
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in
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 some areas. It is both
people
Change noun form
people's
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 and authorities' duty to work together and
finally
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, eradicate
the
Correct article usage
apply
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starvation from our world.

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spelling
There are a few spelling errors such as 'peoblem,' 'expensiv,' and 'reacher' which should be corrected to improve overall clarity.
grammar
Ensure that all sentences are complete and check for minor grammatical errors such as 'can lead to wrong usage of resources and damaging crops,' which might be better expressed as 'can lead to improper usage of resources and damaged crops.'
examples
Try to deepen the analysis by providing more specific examples to illustrate your points, such as the volume of food wastage in developed countries or precise instances where modern farming techniques have been unaffordable for third-world countries.
sentence structure
Work on varying your sentence structures to add sophistication to the essay. Currently, the sentence structure is somewhat repetitive and could benefit from more variation.
task achievement
The essay effectively addresses the task by discussing both the reasons for global hunger and potential solutions.
introduction conclusion
The introduction and conclusion are both strong and clearly outline the main points of the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay is logically organized and easy to follow, with each paragraph addressing a specific aspect of the issue.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • logistical
  • economic barriers
  • imbalance
  • exacerbates
  • food wastage
  • retailer levels
  • trade policies
  • agricultural subsidies
  • infrastructure
  • sustainable farming practices
  • international cooperation
  • fair-trade agreements
  • community-based
  • precision agriculture
What to do next:
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