in spite of advancements made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. why is this case? What can be done about this problem?
Although
the
farming methods have been developed today, starvation is one Correct article usage
apply
the
most fundamental issues that many people are still dealing with. There are several reasons for Change preposition
of the
this
peoblem
which will be discussed in Correct your spelling
problem
this
essay and then
, some solutions will be suggested to tackle it.
It is clearly true that agricultural techniques have experienced so many advancements, but some cutting-adge
farming tools, supplies and methods are too Correct your spelling
cutting-edge
expensiv
that some third-world Correct your spelling
expensive
countries
cannot afford them. Consequently
, farmers in these countries
resort to traditional approaches of
agriculture, which can lead to wrong usage of resources and damaging crops. Change preposition
to
For example
, manual cultivation done by individuals is significantly slower than mechanical way, leading to some crops go
rot. Verb problem
apply
In addition
, The high population of some countries
makes it difficult to provide food
for every single person in that
Correct determiner usage
those
countries
. Lastly
, the
Correct article usage
apply
food
is usually wasted in some societies such
as those in developing countries
.
There are numerous solutions to address the global famish. Firstly
, the excess food
should be collected in developed countries
. This
food
can be moved to coutries
with hunger Correct your spelling
countries
problem
like some Fix the agreement mistake
problems
african
Change the capitalization
African
countries
and distributed among them. Another action that can be done is that in developing countries
, the goverment
can use initiatives to educate the public about Correct your spelling
government
the
global starvation . Correct article usage
apply
Therefore
, people don't waste food
and may share it with famished individuals. Finally
, reacher countries
should consider giving third-world countries
loans to help them develop their farming tools.
In conclusion, so many advancement
Change to a plural noun
advancements
has
made in farming, but obviously Wrong verb form
have been
the
hunger still exists Correct article usage
apply
among
some areas. It is both Change preposition
in
people
and authorities' duty to work together and Change noun form
people's
finally
, eradicate the
starvation from our world.Correct article usage
apply
Submitted by ava.saljoughi on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
spelling
There are a few spelling errors such as 'peoblem,' 'expensiv,' and 'reacher' which should be corrected to improve overall clarity.
grammar
Ensure that all sentences are complete and check for minor grammatical errors such as 'can lead to wrong usage of resources and damaging crops,' which might be better expressed as 'can lead to improper usage of resources and damaged crops.'
examples
Try to deepen the analysis by providing more specific examples to illustrate your points, such as the volume of food wastage in developed countries or precise instances where modern farming techniques have been unaffordable for third-world countries.
sentence structure
Work on varying your sentence structures to add sophistication to the essay. Currently, the sentence structure is somewhat repetitive and could benefit from more variation.
task achievement
The essay effectively addresses the task by discussing both the reasons for global hunger and potential solutions.
introduction conclusion
The introduction and conclusion are both strong and clearly outline the main points of the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay is logically organized and easy to follow, with each paragraph addressing a specific aspect of the issue.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!