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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph shows average annual percentages of online adults who use different social networks. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph shows average annual percentages of online adults who use different social networks. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar chart represents the yearly percentile of people using various online social
sites
Use synonyms
 in 2014 and 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
,
one
Use synonyms
 site was the most commonly used site by the
users
Use synonyms
 in both years,
whereas
Linking Words
, five
sites
Use synonyms
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 the least
common
Change the word
commonly
show examples
 used website.
Also
Linking Words
,
provided
Correct article usage
the provided
show examples
 data shows that no
sites
Use synonyms
 and two
sites
Use synonyms
 were equally popular in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
both given years. Generally, the outlay of websites being used in 2015 was higher than that of 2014.
One
Use synonyms
 site was
widely
Correct article usage
a widely
show examples
 used website by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
users
Use synonyms
 in 2014 and
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2015
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the percentage of 36 and 28 respectively.
Similarly
Linking Words
, two
sites
Use synonyms
 and no
sites
Use synonyms
depicts
Change the verb form
depict
show examples
 almost stable percentiles with a mere difference of 1% in the given time period.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, 12%
online
Change preposition
of online
show examples
users
Use synonyms
 used three
sites
Use synonyms
 in
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
 year and
this
Linking Words
 number slightly increased to 16% a year later. Both four
sites
Use synonyms
 and five
sites
Use synonyms
 were the least popular among
users
Use synonyms
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
percentage
Fix the agreement mistake
percentages
show examples
 of 5% and 8% for the former
one
Use synonyms
 and 2% and 4% for the
later
Correct your spelling
latter
show examples
one
Use synonyms
.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words sites, one, users with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • average annual percentage
  • online adults
  • social networks
  • main features
  • comparisons
  • highest/lowest
  • discernible trends
  • consistent growth/decline
  • popularity
  • competition
  • functionality
  • significant changes
  • patterns
  • spike/drop in usage
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