The best way to reduce the amount of traffic in cities today is by reducing the need for people to travel from home to work, education or shopping. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is sometimes argued that reducing the demand for
people
to go to workplaces, schools or malls is the best way to decrease the number of transport on city roads nowadays. While
there are some benefits to this
option, I partly disagree with this
notion due to
the risks it presents.
On the one
hand, the idea of encouraging people
to stay at home to solve the problem of traffic
is beneficial to some extent. Firstly
, the amount of emissions from vehicles can significantly decline. In fact, one
of the most prevalent factors that cause global warming is the rocketing in people
who use personal transport. For example
, Ha Noi city which has a high percentage of private vehicles has a huge mass of fine dust in its atmosphere. Secondly
, development in online platforms is required for shopping online as well as
working and studying from home.
On the other hand
, despite the above-mentioned advantages, I believe that this
opinion should not be applied. The main one
is that the need for travelling for work, study or shopping purposes is impractical to reduce. This
is because controversies among inhabitants will appear when they are forced to ease their indispensable demands, causing more social problems as well. During the COVID-19 pandemic, for one
, the proportion of divorce had risen, leading to a decline in the rate of national happiness. Instead
, facilitating public transport appears to be a superior alternative solution. For instance
, by investing excessively in building elevated and underground railways, Japan has managed to reduce traffic
volume considerably, easing congestion on roads.
In conclusion, it is futile trying to get people
to stay at home more for the sake of traffic
and investing in modern means of public transit would be a better remedy when it comes to alleviating traffic
. It is suggested that governments around the world judiciously examine this
approach and consider the possibility of adopting it.Submitted by khanhhan13067 on
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task achievement
You have addressed the task well by discussing both sides of the argument and providing your standpoint. However, try to develop your points a little more fully. For example, you can discuss in more detail how reducing travel needs could positively or negatively impact society.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is logically structured and easy to follow. Nevertheless, try to enhance the transitions between sentences and paragraphs to improve the overall flow. Using more linking words and phrases can help.
introduction and conclusion
Your introduction is clear and concise, setting up the framework for the discussion effectively. The conclusion is also strong and reiterates your viewpoint while suggesting a solution.
supported points
The main points are generally well-supported with relevant examples, such as the Hanoi city fine dust issue and Japan's public transport investment.