Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this viewpoint?
It is being argued that government expenditures should go
elsewhere
instead
of the arts
. However
, this
essay strongly disagrees with this
statement and believes in the significant benefits that the arts
could offer to people
and the economy.
To begin
, investing in the arts
should not be overlooked because it helps preserve the country's history and culture. Without the authorities’ spending on maintaining the
historic buildings, Correct article usage
apply
such
as the Leaning Tower of Pisa in Italy, it would have collapsed or disappeared and not be able for us and future generations to evidence its
existence. Change preposition
of its
In addition
, the arts
contribute to the economy. Many people
work in the cultural sector, from artists to those who run museums and galleries. This
creates jobs and attracts tourists from all over the world, which brings in revenue to the country. For instance
, cities with rich cultural scenes like Paris often become tourist hotspots, boosting local business and creating economic growth.
Moreover
, it is important to acknowledge that art is a way to express ideas and communication. This
not only encourages creativity but also
promotes harmony in the society. It is also
crucial for personal development. Engaging with the arts
fosters various skills that are valuable in any field of work. By investing in the arts
, governments are investing in the development of their people
as well.
In conclusion, I firmly disagree with the statement and believe it is not a waste of capital to spend on arts
since it contributes to several impactful benefits, including the preservation of history and culture, positive economic impact, encouraging creativity and promoting harmony, and improving various essential skills on people
.Submitted by bellchatpavee on
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task achievement
Your essay effectively responds to the prompt by presenting a clear argument against the idea that government spending on the arts is a waste. Maintaining this focus throughout the essay strengthens your task response.
task achievement
To further enhance your essay, consider elaborating a bit more on how engaging with the arts promotes harmony and personal development. Providing specific examples here would make your argumentation even stronger.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical and clear structure. Each paragraph has a clear purpose, and the ideas are systematically developed. This is excellent for cohesion and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Enhancing the transitions between some paragraphs could improve the flow of your essay even more. For instance, you might use phrases such as 'Furthermore,' or 'In addition to that,' to smoothly transition between points.
introduction conclusion
Your introduction effectively lays out your stance on the issue, and your conclusion neatly ties up your arguments, which is a strong aspect of your essay.
supported main points
You offer solid supporting points and relevant examples, such as the Leaning Tower of Pisa and the cultural scene in Paris, which provide strong evidence for your main arguments.
clear comprehensive ideas
The essay shows a comprehensive understanding of the topic and presents clear ideas regarding the benefits of government spending on the arts. This is commendable.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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