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Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Population are growing in cities rapidly. What are the effects of it. What solution can you give to maintain a good quality of life in urban cities.

#population #cities #effects #quality #life
Urbanization is among the principal changeovers facing
people
this
 century and amount of
people
 in the city is increasing dramatically.
This
 essay will first suggest that
this
 appears to lead to competition within the job market and
then
 investigate villages as the most viable solution. One of the effects of
this
 is that it seems to result in rivalry for the position because a lot of
people
 are for one role.
Moreover
,
this
 appears to cause a huge traffic jam, even though there are many variations of transportation
such
 as subway, bus and tram in the metropolitan area. What is more,
this
 may give rise to the price of the flats, since there is a strong necessity for it.
For example
, about 1 billion
people
 enter Almaty city from the nearest towns from Monday till Friday who come to the job in urban cities with a high salary. A possible solution to
this
 problem would be to develop other countries. Shopping malls,
such
 as cinemas, theatres and
also
 education centres could be built in regions, thereby stopping urbanization.
In addition
, the Government ought to come forward with
this
 issue by increasing the payments and providing opportunities for individuals, especially for teenagers to earn some extra money and to realize their goals concerning village development. In conclusion, urban sprawl may cause rush hour in the city and overpriced apartments offering poor living conditions.
Therefore
, the government could improve the situation by industrialization of towns which helps
people
 not to move to megalopolis pursuing career opportunities.
Submitted by omarovaa.access on

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coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, ensure a smoother flow between sentences and paragraphs. Consider using more linking phrases and conjunctions.
task achievement
Elaborate on your points with more specific examples and clear explanations to make your arguments more compelling.
introduction conclusion present
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame the discussion well.
supported main points
The main points are generally supported with relevant examples, such as the reference to Almaty city.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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