IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8.5

You bought a music concert ticket. However, you are unable to go. So you want to offer the ticket to your friend. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: •say about the concert •say why you are unable to go •inform how your friend can receive the ticket

#music #concert #ticket #offer #friend #•say #•inform
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Dear Jasleen, I hope all is well. I have good news for you, which is that Diljit is coming to our area for his concert. He'll be performing in Scotia Arena on 15th October 2024 in Toronto. All the tickets are already being sold. As you know, Diljit is my favourite Punjabi singer. I was very excited about his show but unfortunately, I have a very important meeting with my manager and supervisor to attend on that day. I can't miss it as it is related to my promotion.
Thus
Linking Words
, I won't be able to attend his recital.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I want to offer
this
Linking Words
ticket
Use synonyms
 to you. I know you will be excited too about him as you will get the chance to see him live. I have saved the
ticket
Use synonyms
 in my email. So, I will forward that
ticket
Use synonyms
 to your email address.
This
Linking Words
ticket
Use synonyms
 contains a barcode and you need to scan it at the entrance to the show. I hope you will enjoy the show. Drop me a line in the week if you have time. All the best, Harman
Submitted by harkdhaliwal00 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
You've provided a clear reason for why you're unable to attend the concert. However, adding a brief explanation about the importance of the meeting might make it even more convincing.
coherence cohesion
The letter is easy to follow and has a logical structure. One way to improve is to add a concluding sentence before the closing remarks to summarize your main points.
task achievement
The writing tone is friendly and appropriate for a letter to a friend.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph covers a distinct idea, which aids in readability and coherence.
coherence cohesion
The letter opens and closes naturally, creating a warm and engaging tone.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: