The chart below shows the changes in the percentage of households with cars in one European country between 1971 and 2001.

The chart below shows the changes in the percentage of households with cars in one European country between 1971 and 2001.
The given chart illustrates the differences in
proportion
Add an article
the proportion
show examples
of
ownerships
Fix the agreement mistake
ownership
show examples
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
cars in
one
of the countries in Europe between 1971 and 2001. Generally speaking, the use of
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
was rising over decades, and several trends were found in figures among those owning
one
or two cars,
however
by the end of the period they both approached the same level. To commence, in 1971 individuals with no cars made up about half of the population,
locating
Wrong verb form
located
show examples
in close proximity to 50%.
Nonetheless
, passing through
decades
Correct article usage
the decades
show examples
this
percentage declined to 30%, which means the amount of drivers has expanded.
According to
the statistics of
ownerships
Fix the agreement mistake
ownership
show examples
, the amount of
one
Add a hyphen
one-car
show examples
car
drivers was slowly falling,
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
in 2001 it experienced a significant increase, resulting
approximately
Change preposition
in approximately
show examples
45%. In comparison, two
car
owners raised and dropped in turn during years, being less than
one
car
owners
Fix the agreement mistake
owner
show examples
, except in 1991.
However
, in 2001 its percentage reached
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
31%, making a tiny porch with
one
car
owners
Fix the agreement mistake
owner
show examples
.
Submitted by a.seytzhanova on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
Vocabulary: Replace the words one, car with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: