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Writing Samples
Band 7

Many youngsters today know more about international pop or movie stars rather than famous people in the history of their nation. Why is this? What can be done to increase teenager’s interest in famous people in the past?

#youngsters #pop #movie #stars #people #history #nation #teenager’s #interest
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In contemporary society, it is common for teenagers to show more interest in celebrities from the entertainment industry than in historical
figures
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.
This
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 phenomenon can be attributed to the way young people perceive
history
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, yet it can be addressed by fostering real-life interactions with historical sites. It must be acknowledged that many
students
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 are reluctant to study
history
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.
History
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 encompasses a vast amount of information,
such
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 as dates and events, which
students
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 often find difficult to memorize or accurately recall during exams.
As a result
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,
students
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 quickly lose their enthusiasm for learning about
history
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 and historical
figures
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.
Instead
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, they gravitate towards alternative forms of entertainment,
such
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 as movies and music, which offer immediate gratification and appeal through charismatic actors and thrilling scenes.
Consequently
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, they tend to seek out more information about their
favorite
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favourite
show examples
 entertainment personalities rather than historical events and
figures
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 they perceive as boring.
However
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, a solution can be found within the school curriculum by creating tangible connections between
students
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 and
history
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. Specifically, organizing educational tours to historical sites associated with renowned
figures
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 would be an ideal approach. These excursions allow
students
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 to engage in immersive experiences, walking in the footsteps of historical individuals,
thus
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 sparking their curiosity and increasing their interest in
history
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.
Such
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 real-life interactions can transform abstract historical lessons into tangible and relatable experiences, fostering a deeper respect and appreciation for the contributions of historical
figures
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. In conclusion, the lack of interest in historical
figures
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 among teenagers stems from their general disinterest in the subject of
history
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.
However
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,
this
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 can be alleviated by integrating experiential learning opportunities,
such
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 as visits to historical sites, into the educational curriculum. By doing so,
students
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 can develop a more profound and respectful understanding of historical
figures
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 and their contributions.
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task achievement
Your response effectively addresses both parts of the task, providing reasons why teenagers might not be interested in historical figures and suggesting practical solutions. However, adding more specific examples or referencing research could further strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized, and ideas are logically sequenced. To improve coherence, consider adding clear transitional phrases between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that help frame your argument effectively.
task achievement
You provided comprehensive ideas and reasons to support your points.
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