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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people belive that teenagers should concentrate on all school subjects equally others believe that teenagers should focus on the subjects that they are best or that they find the most interesting discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #belive #teenagers #school #subjects #focus
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Concentrating on more future-related or interesting
subjects
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 should be taught to
students
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,on the other side they have to pay more attention to all
subjects
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 at the same time which are provided by the school.In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both the positive and negative aspects of each option and will give my personal opinion. Focusing on all
subjects
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 equally has some pros sides.Children will be able to have general knowledge about them
while
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 each provides invaluable information.
For example
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,studying mathematics may enhance logical thinking,
while
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 literature improves communication and empathy. Science fosters problem-solving, and social studies teach critical thinking about society.
Moreover
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, it provides a few negative aspects too.
However
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,most of the
students
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 will not be able to concentrate at the same time
as
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and
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 the quality of learning will significantly decrease.
In addition
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,they will struggle by balancing them which leads to overwhelming consequences,especially for
students
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 who are not interested and not able to cope with some of these fields.
Students
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 will be under pressure and angry mood which impacts
overall
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 learning efficiency.
On the other hand
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, deep concentration on some selected
subjects
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,
according to
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 their interests may lead to more successful results.
Students
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 will study with their full potential to reach the targeted point.
For instance
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,
while
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 doing adorable
subjects
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,they will not feel tired or bored
instead
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 will complete it with energy and pleasure studying in
this
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 way they will gain more valuable and
further
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 gathered knowledge which will be helpful to occupy future-related jobs.
However
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,as a negative point,it may include a lack of general knowledge of other spheres which makes it harder to understand different perspectives and find solutions in real-world situations. In conclusion,
while
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 learning all
subjects
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 equally improves the efficiency of
students
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 and is helpful in solving problems,I firmly believe that
students
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 who concentrate on selected areas will study hard and with full potential which leads to both prospective future careers and successful consequences
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and flows logically to the next. Consider using more diverse linking words to aid this flow.
task achievement
Develop your main points with more detailed examples and evidence to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt and provides a balanced discussion of both views.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and effectively frame the discussion.
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