IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Nowadays artificial intelligence is being used to drive cars. Why is this happening? Is it a positive or negative development?

#intelligence #drive #cars #development
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Recently, many
automobile
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 companies have provided a
car
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 applying artificial
intelligence
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 to serve self-driving.
This
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 is attributed to the modern
automobile
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 industry’s advancements, and it should be seen as a positive progression since it reduces the pressure
while
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 driving.
This
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 phenomenal development in the
car
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 industry can reduce
car
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 accidents.
For example
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, a
car
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 embedded with artificial
intelligence
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 can control the speed and keep your vehicle in its lane and its distance from the
car
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 in front automatically, even though it can
also
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 notice any obstacle,
such
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 as passengers or trees. If it senses any danger, artificial
intelligence
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 can control the system and help you escape danger. It can control its lane and speed so that if your
automobile
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 is about to crash in front of your
car
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, it will change the lane and increase or decrease the speed to avoid the
car
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 crash. I believe driverless automobiles can
also
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 provide comfort for long-haul driving. It is quite stressful to go on a road trip.
However
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, driverless cars can reduce
this
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 pressure
while
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 driving. Many people have experienced sleeping
while
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 driving, which can lead to
car
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 accidents. You can pre-define speed to maintain the distance from other cars.
This
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 allows you to get away from an accident caused by drowsy driving. In conclusion, self-driving cars can provide more comfort and a safer driving environment than conventional vehicles.
In addition
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, it can reduce the rate of
car
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 accidents caused by the carelessness of drivers. The
automobile
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 implementation of artificial
intelligence
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 can contribute a positive influence
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
modern
Add an article
the modern
show examples
car
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 industry.
Submitted by oyj1798 on

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coherence cohesion
To further strengthen coherence and cohesion, consider using a wider range of linking phrases and clearer transitions between points. These can help guide the reader more smoothly through your argument.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples or data to support your points. This can provide stronger evidence for your arguments, making them more convincing.
task achievement
You have effectively addressed both parts of the task, explaining why AI is used in driving and discussing its benefits, showing a complete response to the prompt.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates clear and comprehensive ideas. Your arguments about safety and comfort in relation to AI in cars are well-expressed and easy to understand.
coherence cohesion
The essay is logically structured with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. This helps the reader follow your line of reasoning effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Artificial Intelligence (AI)
  • autonomous vehicles
  • traffic management
  • route optimization
  • human error
  • technological advancements
  • innovation
  • convenience
  • elderly
  • disabled individuals
  • job displacement
  • logistics
  • transportation
  • implementation
  • maintenance
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