Some people believe that children should be brought up in cities. Others believe that the countryside offers a better environment for children. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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It is an irrefutable fact that in the contemporary world, it is crucial to offer the best environment to

children

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for their

overall

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growth. Some people argue that

cities

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are the best for

children

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's development,

while

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others reject

this

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notion because they believe the

countryside

Use synonyms

is much better.

However

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, I do agree with the former statement.

This

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essay will discuss both sides of the argument

along with

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my opinion and examples. On the one hand, exponents like I have their own side of justification. The rationale behind their argument is the availability of health and educational facilities which enhances the chances of better progress. In other words, a child who lives in a developed city can easily get health care whenever it's required because of easy access to hospitals.

However

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, in

Use synonyms

countryside

Add an article

the countryside

show examples

, people need to travel for hours just for basic treatment.

Moreover

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, adolescents can get a better

education

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when they proceed with their studies in

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the well

a well

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well structured

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well-structured

show examples

institute which not only offers course

education

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but

also

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motivates students to take part in extra-curricular activities like swimming, cricket,

chess

Correct word choice

and chess

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games, and

as a result

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children

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's high mental and physical growth.

For example

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according to

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the research of Cambridge University, the success of a person highly relies on their

education

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base so it is very crucial for parents to provide the best schools to their

children

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which are usually available in

cities

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On the other hand

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, contenders of

this

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argument have their own side of the coin.

According to

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them environment of the

countryside

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helps

children

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to understand the value of kindness

as well as

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humanity which is quite difficult to learn in

cities

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because of parents' workaholic life. To explain,

Rephrase

apply

show examples

no doubt in

cities

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they can easily gain advanced skills which can definitely help adolescents to become successful in their life but unity in small villages

give

Correct subject-verb agreement

gives

show examples

them guidance to become a good human being through small interactions in

neighbourhood

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the neighbourhood

show examples

every day.

For example

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, I learned the importance of humanity through the local people of my village when they take over others' tasks during their health issues

as well as

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support financially to strangers.

To conclude

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although

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the

countryside

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helps

children

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to become good humans,

cities

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make them more competitive for better growth opportunities through the best

education

Use synonyms

and healthcare facilities.

arshkaurbrarTue Sep 24 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and flows logically. At times, the transition between city advantages and countryside benefits could be smoother.

task achievement

Avoid repetition of ideas. For example, the importance of education and healthcare in cities could be addressed more succinctly without repeating similar points.

coherence cohesion

The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

task achievement

You have successfully discussed both sides of the argument and provided a balanced viewpoint.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

382 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

urban upbringing
cultural diversity
serene environment
open-mindedness
adaptability
health and wellbeing
quality education
healthcare facilities
sense of community
independence
creativity
physical and mental wellbeing
social bonds
enrichment
exposure

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Some people believe that children should be brought up in cities. Others believe that the countryside offers a better environment for children. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Case of bullying in school are increasing and worsening What do you think are the causes of this? How can we tackle this issue?

Changes are often considered more beneficial to people than trying to avoid them and have everything remain the same. Do you think the advantages of changes outweigh the disadvantages?

Government spend millions of dollars each year on their space programmes Most recently Mars is the focus of scientists attention' . Some people think this money would be better spent on dealing with closer to home. Do you agree or disagree?