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Band 6.5

in some cities, people are choosing cars instead of bicycles, while in other cities riding bikes is which development do you think is better? replacing cars. why is this the case?

#cities #people #cars #bicycles #bikes #development #case
People
 in some
cities
 prefer to ride
cars
 more than
bikes
. But in other
cities
,
bikes
 are more accessible than
cars
. I think that
traffic
 that occurs by many transportations on the road significantly contributes to
this
 issue and
also
 think that using
bikes
 encourages sustainable development. Some
people
 want to ride
bikes
 because their
cities
 are very complicated and complex. In big
cities
, there are so many
cars
 and buses, so if
people
 in the
cities
 use their own automobiles,
people
 can't move fast.
In contrast
, bicycles are free to
traffic
.
Although
bikes
 are slow and make
people
 tired, they reduce their stops that are caused by
traffic
.
As a result
, using
bikes
 in the
cities
 that occur many
traffic
 saves time. In
this
 topic, I believe that riding
bikes
 is better because of our environment. Many automobiles emit CO2 that increases footprints and contributes to global warming.
For example
, research about automobile's CO2 emissions shows that the transportation accounted for 23% of it. But riding
bikes
 is eco-friendly. There are no CO2 emissions. The research team announced that if the lifestyle of using bicycles spreads worldwide, annual carbon emissions would be reduced by approximately 43%. So I think that
this
 development is effective in the ecosystem. In conclusion,
Although
people
 used to ride
cars
 to move fastly, paradoxically now some
people
 prefer to ride bicycles because of
traffic
. I believe that
this
 change has a good effect on our ecosystem.
Furthermore
, we encourage
people
 to ride a bike.
Submitted by kwakjim777 on

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coherence cohesion
Improve the coherence and logical structure by ensuring smoother transitions between ideas. For example, using more linking words or phrases can help the essay flow better.
task achievement
Support your main points with more specific examples and evidence. This will strengthen your arguments and make your essay more convincing.
task achievement
Avoid repetition of points; instead, expand on ideas with varied vocabulary and more detailed explanations.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes an introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame the discussion effectively.
task achievement
The essay provides a response to the task with relevant and generally clear ideas.
task achievement
There is a recognition of the importance of environmental impact and sustainable development, which adds depth to the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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