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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph and chart provide information on the daily average maximum and minimum temperatures and the average number of days with rainfall in two cities in Australia

The graph and chart provide information on the daily average maximum and minimum temperatures and the average number of days with rainfall in two cities in Australia
#information #temperatures #rainfall #two #cities #australia
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The line graph illustrates the day-to-day average of the highest and lowest temperatures
while
Linking Words
 the bar chart shows the average of how many
days
Use synonyms
 raining in
Brisbane
Use synonyms
 and
Canberra
Use synonyms
. It can clearly be seen from the graph that
Brisbane
Use synonyms
 is higher in temperature compared to
Canberra
Use synonyms
 over the year. The chart depicts that generally, there are more
days
Use synonyms
 with rainfall in
Brisbane
Use synonyms
 than in
Canberra
Use synonyms
. The line graph shows that
Brisbane
Use synonyms
 is hotter than
Canberra
Use synonyms
. For both cities, the hottest period is in February with 30
degrees
Use synonyms
 maximum and around 26
degrees
Use synonyms
 minimum
while
Linking Words
 in
Canberra
Use synonyms
 the highest is at around 20 and the lowest at approximately 17
degrees
Use synonyms
.
Canberra
Use synonyms
, which is colder, experiences the coldest period in July with 10
degrees
Use synonyms
 maximum and almost 0
degrees
Use synonyms
 minimum
whereas
Linking Words
Brisbane
Use synonyms
 only reaches the highest at above 20 and around 11 for the lowest. The bar chart depicts that
Brisbane
Use synonyms
is generally has
Change the verb form
generally has
show examples
 higher
days
Use synonyms
 of rain which peaks in February and March with 14
days
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
Canberra
Use synonyms
 is only with 7 and 8
days
Use synonyms
, respectively.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, between June and October,
Canberra
Use synonyms
 has more
days
Use synonyms
 with rainfall with 10
days
Use synonyms
whereas
Linking Words
Brisbane
Use synonyms
 only with around 7 or 8
days
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by aribawadzaki on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words days, brisbane, canberra, degrees with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "depicts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
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