Despite health warning,a large number of people continue to smoke all over the world.Why should we be concerned about this ?What solutions would you suggest?
In recent times smoking has increased. Many
people
smoke without the
insight Correct article usage
apply
of
the bad effects Change preposition
into
about
smoking.Change preposition
of
This
essay will outline the risks of smoking and the best soultions
to reduce Correct your spelling
solutions
solution
this
issue.
One of the main reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
that
why Correct word choice
apply
people
should be concerned about smoking is the health issues. If people
smoke frequently ,pontentially
they will suffer from some diseases Correct your spelling
potentially
such
as heart diseases
and depression. Fix the agreement mistake
disease
This
can escalate into long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
of
Change preposition
apply
heath
issues. Another reason is wasting money. Smoking can lead to Correct your spelling
health
finacial
problems. Correct your spelling
financial
For example
, the result of conducted reseach
at Glasgow University illustrates that 80% of smoker Correct your spelling
research
people
spend about half of their salay in smoking. Thus
, people
may suffer from poverty.
There are many solusions
to avoid Correct your spelling
solutions
this
problem. The govenment
should educate Correct your spelling
government
the
Correct article usage
apply
individauls
about the danger of Correct your spelling
individuals
smoke
by spreading some Wrong verb form
smoking
reseaches
to aware Correct your spelling
research
people
about
it. Another Change preposition
of
solusion
is going to the hospital. The psychology doctor can help the smoker to change his lifestyle and provide him with Correct your spelling
solution
Correct article usage
a solusion
solusion
to Correct your spelling
solution
solutions
adapt
a healthy lifestyle.
In conclusion , smoking has a significant Correct your spelling
adopt
bad
impact on Correct word choice
negative
people
's lives. It causes many diseases and loss of money. Therefore
, the government and the hospital should work togother
to Correct your spelling
together
stopped
Wrong verb form
stop
this
issue.Submitted by 13570581 on
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task achievement
Ensure that all main points are clearly supported with relevant examples and details. This will improve clarity and comprehension.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving logical transitions between paragraphs for better flow and coherence.
task achievement
Pay attention to spelling and grammar to avoid small mistakes that may distract the reader.
coherence cohesion
Try to avoid repetition of ideas and ensure that each paragraph introduces new supporting points or examples.
coherence cohesion
You have included a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame the essay well.
task achievement
Your essay covers relevant issues related to smoking, making it clear that you've addressed the task requirements.
task achievement
Good attempt at providing solutions and reasons for concern regarding smoking, showing comprehensive understanding.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.