IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You live in a room in college which you share with another student. However, there are many problems with this arrangement and you find it very difficult to work. Write a letter to the accommodation officer at the college. In your letter describe the situation explain your problems and why it is difficult to work say what kind of accommodation you would prefer

#room #college #student #arrangement #work #accommodation #officer #situation
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Dear Smith, My name is Jimena Ilaria,
Medicine's
Change noun form
Medicine
show examples
 college student, and I am writing to you in regard to some disturbances I have been facing the
last
 weeks in my
room
. As you may be aware
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
we are in the
most tough
Change the adjective
toughest
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 part of the semester, having to take the final exam
at the end
 of the month. My
college
Replace the word
colleague
show examples
, the one with
who
Change the pronoun
whom
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 I am sharing the
room
, has been inviting friends to the
room
 and
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 stay
chating
Correct your spelling
chatting
 until midnight. Even though I had already told her several times that I
was needing
Wrong verb form
needed
show examples
 silence in the
room
 and to please go somewhere else with their friends,
it
Correct pronoun usage
she
show examples
seems
Wrong verb form
seemed
show examples
 to not care. I would very much appreciate
if
Correct pronoun usage
it if
show examples
 you could change me to another
room
, I do not mind sharing a flat with someone else, I do not really need to be
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
 my own but I really do need to be with someone respectful and understanding, that it is not the case right now. Thank you for
you
Change the pronoun
your
show examples
 attention on
this
 matter, I eagerly await your response.
Your
Correct the word
Yours
show examples
 sincerely, Jimena Ilaria
Submitted by jimeilaria on

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task achievement
Work on corrections to grammatical issues and spelling (e.g., 'the stay chating' should be 'they stay chatting').
task achievement
Try to provide more specific details regarding the disturbances in a structured manner. This will help strengthen your case.
coherence cohesion
Add connectors to improve logical structure between paragraphs. For example, use phrases like 'Moreover,' or 'Additionally,' to smoothly transition between points.
task achievement
The letter addresses the situation, explains the problem, and makes a request clearly, which helps in achieving the task response.
coherence cohesion
The closing and greeting are appropriate and polite.
coherence cohesion
The text is well-organized, and each paragraph has a single main idea.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • accommodation officer
  • roommate
  • share a room
  • living arrangement
  • difficult to work
  • noise levels
  • study environment
  • privacy concerns
  • alternative accommodation
  • single room
  • academic performance
  • well-being
  • respectfully request
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