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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some students prefer to take a gap year between high school and university, to work or to travel. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#students #gap #year #school #university #work #travel #outweigh
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There are a host of milestones in our lives, which can determine the path to success. After graduating high school, everyone experiences the most important turning points and choices in life. Some people believe that many
students
 have the tendency to defer university enrollment to go abroad or to work. In my opinion,
while
 there are several harms to
students
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 argue that the positive effects of
this
 action are more convincing. The underlying rationale behind
this
 is that
students
 can spend one year before attending university progress to travel and immerse themself in an alien culture, which they can enrich
life
Correct pronoun usage
their life
show examples
 experiences and broaden their horizon. After each journey, individuals gain more knowledge
such
 as soft skills and understanding of history.
Additionally
, it creates an opportunity for
students
 to be able to hone their practical skills in real contexts, which can be necessary for them in
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 future occupation.
For example
, some gap-year takers travel abroad and they have to adapt to their independent lives
as well as
 learn a new language. The other reason to be considered is that most high schools provide inadequate career guidances which cause confusion for
students
 after completing the academic program.
Therefore
, having a year-long break can be conducive to one to explore their potential
as well as
 their passion. They can attend
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
labour market or vocational training courses to identify a suitable career path. In conclusion,
while
 delaying tertiary education for one year can take a toll on the educational progress of
students
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 would argue that the disadvantages pale in comparison with the benefits of
this
 action
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coherence cohesion
Maintain clear transitions between paragraphs to further improve the flow of ideas.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction establishes a clear stance on the issue.
logical structure
Key points are logically structured, leading to a persuasive argument.
complete response
The essay covers multiple angles of the topic, providing a well-rounded response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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