IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people think that some type of criminals should not go to prison, instead they should do unpaid work in the community. To what extent do you agree?

#people #type #criminals #prison #work #community
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Few people suggest voluntary
work
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of
punishment
Use synonyms
 the prison.
This
Linking Words
 essay agrees with that statement in some situations. Economic of the
country
Use synonyms
 will go up and the punished people will learn the right way. Small crimes could rise The economy of the
country
Use synonyms
 in the small and important
work
Use synonyms
 will rise if they put
punishment
Use synonyms
 for Government interests
such
Linking Words
 as cleaning the roads the
country
Use synonyms
 will not pay employees at the same time the
work
Use synonyms
 is done.
This
Linking Words
 is the right
punishment
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
 there are many young people
do
Correct pronoun usage
who do
show examples
 not know the rules and regulations and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
prison
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
effect
Correct your spelling
affects
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 they could be late on their age in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school. The community is hard on them. So if the government take the crime and
put
Wrong verb form
puts
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 right
punishment
Use synonyms
 they will not back to it.my friend once cut the trees down around the school and the manager cost her to take care of the trees and water them
in addition
Linking Words
 planting a special type of flower for 3
month
Change to a plural noun
months
show examples
 and
this
Linking Words
 made her learn about planting and experience new
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
 and
respecting
Wrong verb form
respect
show examples
 the law .
after
Linking Words
Linking Words
this
Add a comma
this,
show examples
 she planted her own garden.
To
Change preposition
In
show examples
 conclusion,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
unpaid
work
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of prison
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
small
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
 could help the
economic
Replace the word
economy
show examples
 of the
country
Use synonyms
 and help the person who might his fault.
Submitted by danall1kat on

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task response
Your introduction is clear but could be slightly expanded to provide more context to the reader. Make sure to clearly state your stance and outline the main points you will discuss.
task response
Your main points are relevant and mostly well-supported, but you need more detailed evidence and examples to strengthen your argument. Try to provide more specific instances and data where possible.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure but could benefit from clearer transitions between ideas and paragraphs. Ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence will help in achieving this.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences are a bit unclear and have minor grammatical errors. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and tense consistency. Reviewing these points will improve readability.
task response
You have a clear stance on the topic and provide relevant points to support your argument, which is commendable.
task response
Using personal anecdotes as examples can be very effective to make the essay engaging and relatable. Keep this up!
coherence cohesion
Your essay shows a good attempt at organizing ideas logically. Each paragraph discusses a single overarching idea related to your main point, which is good for coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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