Some people think that some type of criminals should not go to prison, instead they should do unpaid work in the community. To what extent do you agree?
Few people suggest voluntary
work
instead
of punishment
the prison. This
essay agrees with that statement in some situations. Economic of the country
will go up and the punished people will learn the right way.
Small crimes could rise The economy of the country
in the small and important work
will rise if they put punishment
for Government interests such
as cleaning the roads the country
will not pay employees at the same time the work
is done.
This
is the right punishment
due to
there are many young people do
not know the rules and regulations and Correct pronoun usage
who do
the
prison Correct article usage
apply
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
effect
Correct your spelling
affects
of
their Change preposition
apply
life
they could be late on their age in Fix the agreement mistake
lives
the
school. The community is hard on them. So if the government take the crime and Correct article usage
apply
put
Wrong verb form
puts
a
right Correct article usage
the
punishment
they will not back to it.my friend once cut the trees down around the school and the manager cost her to take care of the trees and water them in addition
planting a special type of flower for 3 month
and Change to a plural noun
months
this
made her learn about planting and experience new thing
and Fix the agreement mistake
things
respecting
the law . Wrong verb form
respect
after
this
she planted her own garden.
Add a comma
this,
To
conclusion, Change preposition
In
the
unpaid Correct article usage
apply
work
instead
of prison in
Change preposition
for
the
small Correct article usage
apply
crime
could help the Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
economic
of the Replace the word
economy
country
and help the person who might his fault.Submitted by danall1kat on
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task response
Your introduction is clear but could be slightly expanded to provide more context to the reader. Make sure to clearly state your stance and outline the main points you will discuss.
task response
Your main points are relevant and mostly well-supported, but you need more detailed evidence and examples to strengthen your argument. Try to provide more specific instances and data where possible.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure but could benefit from clearer transitions between ideas and paragraphs. Ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence will help in achieving this.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences are a bit unclear and have minor grammatical errors. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and tense consistency. Reviewing these points will improve readability.
task response
You have a clear stance on the topic and provide relevant points to support your argument, which is commendable.
task response
Using personal anecdotes as examples can be very effective to make the essay engaging and relatable. Keep this up!
coherence cohesion
Your essay shows a good attempt at organizing ideas logically. Each paragraph discusses a single overarching idea related to your main point, which is good for coherence.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.