Museums for many years have been the places of knowledge and cultural exchange. Nowadays there are more and more resources on the Internet and museums will not be needed in the future. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

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In the past,
museums
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has
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have
show examples
been a source of learning and discovery
to
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for
show examples
many
people
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. Many individuals think because of different websites available online
museums
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will not be
necessarily
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necessary
show examples
in the future. I completely disagree with
this
Linking Words
idea, in my opinion,
museums
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provides
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provide
show examples
authenticity and experience, and the importance of preserving physical
artifacts
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artefacts
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. To commence with,
museums
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give
real life
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real-life
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involvement to
people
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nowadays, and engaging with real objects in person cannot be fully replicated through digital means.
Moreover
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,
physically
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being physically
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present in the place and seeing the things from
hundrend
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hundreds
years
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of years
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ago can bring and connect
people
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together.
For example
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, Mona Lisa and Starry Starry Night
panting
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Panting
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is
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are
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one of the most famous
artwork
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artworks
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in the world, because of that, it opens
a
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the
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door
to
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for
show examples
many
aspirant
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aspiring
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artist
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artists
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to do unique work, and it become
inspiration
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an inspiration
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to many.
Secondly
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,
museums
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has
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have
show examples
been
a
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apply
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place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
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were
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where
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the
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apply
show examples
artifacts
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artefacts
show examples
and artworks
were
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are
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stored to protect
it
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them
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from
personal
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the personal
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interest of the
people
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,
although
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some
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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already possessed objects from the past because of family history.
However
Linking Words
,
museums
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is
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are
show examples
the best place to keep it for a better preservation of history and culture. In conclusion,
internet
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the internet
show examples
may offer convenience by learning history in the comfort of our house or
eveywhere
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everywhere
and any time of the day,
however
Linking Words
, the authenticity and real-life experience in
museums
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cannot be compared to any digital platforms.
Submitted by alyssa.cordero22 on

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task achievement
Your introduction sets the context well but be sure to maintain subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'museums has' should be 'museums have').
task achievement
Try to elaborate on your points with more specific and diverse examples. Currently, the examples are quite limited.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. This will improve the logical structure of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Improve the flow between sentences by using linking words and transitional phrases to enhance coherence (e.g., 'furthermore,' 'in addition,' 'however').
coherence cohesion
Revise grammatical errors and improve sentence structures for more clarity (e.g., 'Starry Starry Night panting' should be 'Starry Starry Night painting').
task achievement
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points, reinforcing your overall argument well.
task achievement
The essay clearly presents a complete response to the prompt question by addressing the relevance and importance of museums despite the availability of the internet.
task achievement
You effectively highlight the importance of authenticity and real-life experience in museums.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural exchange
  • Physical artifacts
  • Tangible connections
  • Educational programs
  • Guided tours
  • Community hubs
  • Cultural exchange
  • Authenticity
  • Digital divide
  • Virtual tours
  • Exhibits
  • Complement
  • Broader audience
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