Museums for many years have been the places of knowledge and cultural exchange. Nowadays there are more and more resources on the Internet and museums will not be needed in the future. To what extent do you agree with this statement?
In the past,
museums
has
been a source of learning and discovery Change the verb form
have
to
many Change preposition
for
people
. Many individuals think because of different websites available online museums
will not be necessarily
in the future. I completely disagree with Change the word
necessary
this
idea, in my opinion, museums
provides
authenticity and experience, and the importance of preserving physical Change the verb form
provide
artifacts
.
To commence with, Change the spelling
artefacts
museums
give real life
involvement to Add a hyphen
real-life
people
nowadays, and engaging with real objects in person cannot be fully replicated through digital means. Moreover
, physically
present in the place and seeing the things from Add a missing verb
being physically
hundrend
Correct your spelling
hundreds
years
ago can bring and connect Change preposition
of years
people
together. For example
, Mona Lisa and Starry Starry Night panting
Capitalize word
Panting
is
one of the most famous Change the verb form
are
artwork
in the world, because of that, it opens Change to a plural noun
artworks
a
door Correct article usage
the
to
many Change preposition
for
aspirant
Correct your spelling
aspiring
artist
to do unique work, and it become Change to a plural noun
artists
inspiration
to many.
Add an article
an inspiration
Secondly
, museums
has
been Change the verb form
have
a
Correct article usage
apply
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
were
Correct your spelling
where
the
Correct article usage
apply
artifacts
and artworks Change the spelling
artefacts
were
stored to protect Wrong verb form
are
it
from Correct pronoun usage
them
personal
interest of the Correct article usage
the personal
people
, although
some were
already possessed objects from the past because of family history. Unnecessary verb
apply
However
, museums
is
the best place to keep it for a better preservation of history and culture.
In conclusion, Change the verb form
are
internet
may offer convenience by learning history in the comfort of our house or Correct article usage
the internet
eveywhere
and any time of the day, Correct your spelling
everywhere
however
, the authenticity and real-life experience in museums
cannot be compared to any digital platforms.Submitted by alyssa.cordero22 on
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task achievement
Your introduction sets the context well but be sure to maintain subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'museums has' should be 'museums have').
task achievement
Try to elaborate on your points with more specific and diverse examples. Currently, the examples are quite limited.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. This will improve the logical structure of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Improve the flow between sentences by using linking words and transitional phrases to enhance coherence (e.g., 'furthermore,' 'in addition,' 'however').
coherence cohesion
Revise grammatical errors and improve sentence structures for more clarity (e.g., 'Starry Starry Night panting' should be 'Starry Starry Night painting').
task achievement
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points, reinforcing your overall argument well.
task achievement
The essay clearly presents a complete response to the prompt question by addressing the relevance and importance of museums despite the availability of the internet.
task achievement
You effectively highlight the importance of authenticity and real-life experience in museums.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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