The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

#shops #country

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The line graph illustrates the number of closed and

newly-opened

Correct your spelling

newly opened

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outlets in one country from 2011 to 2018.

Overall

Linking Words

, both shop closures and openings fluctuated throughout the

period

Use synonyms

Nonetheless

Linking Words

, the

period

Use synonyms

between 2015 to 2018 saw a big difference in trend that happened

conversely

Linking Words

between shop closures and openings. Closed shops fluctuated wildly over the given

period

Use synonyms

. It started at around 6,500 in 2011 and decreased to 6,000 in 2012 but increased moderately to around 7,100 in 2013.

Nonetheless

Linking Words

, it dropped significantly to almost 700 in 2015 but recovered drastically to approximately 5,100 in 2016 and continued to moderately fluctuate. Stall openings

also

Linking Words

fluctuated radically throughout the

period

Use synonyms

. It dropped significantly from approximately 8,500 in 2011 to 4,000 in 2012 but increased drastically to 6,000 in 2014. The number

then

Linking Words

dropped again to 4,000 in 2015 but after a steady

period

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between 2015 to 2017, it dipped to 3,000 by 2018.

Submitted by aribawadzaki on Tue Sep 24 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "nonetheless".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words period with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 4 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "moderately" was used 2 times.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

151 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

trend
fluctuation
peak
decline
surge
stabilize
correlation
economic conditions
consumer behavior
technological advancements
urban development
employment
retail sector

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The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Some people think that governments should give financial support to creative artists such as painters and musicians. Others believe that creative artists should be funded by alternative sources. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disargee with this statement?

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other s think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your own oipinion.

Nowadays, most people try to balance between work and other part of lives. Unfortunately, not many achieve this balance. What problems does this cause? Can you suggest some solutions to this issue?

Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.