In many countries around the world , rural people are moving to cities ,so the population in the country side is decreasing Do you think it is a positive or a negative development
These days, in numerous nations, an increasing
number
of people
have been moving to cities
from countryside
so that rural Add an article
the countryside
resisdents
has decreased. It is thought by some that Correct your spelling
residents
this
trend has negative development. I strongly agree with this
argument becasue
it leads to a Correct your spelling
because
lack
of workforce and affects Correct article usage
the city
city
image.
Change noun form
city's
To begin
with, one of negative
Add an article
the negative
impact
that rural Fix the agreement mistake
impacts
people
moving to cities
is that it causes a lack
of workers. In recent years, there are
many young generations, after leaving school going to big Wrong verb form
have been
cities
to find a job, only elderly people
live in town. Thus
, many frams
are abandoned Correct your spelling
frames
firms
farms
due to
a lack
of workforce, leading to shortage
of crops, vegetables, Add an article
a shortage
fruits
. Vietnam Correct word choice
and fruits
prefectly
Correct your spelling
perfectly
examplifies
in Correct your spelling
exemplified
exemplifies
this
case, Vietnam has known as an agrcultural
country, Correct your spelling
agricultural
however
, there is a large number
of young people
leaving their town to go to urban cities
so that
there are few Correct word choice
apply
people
carring
growing crops, leading toCorrect your spelling
carrying
caring
do
not enough stable foods for national consumption. Unnecessary verb
apply
Also
agricultural industry has less development , affecting to price in food
chain.
Another downside of moving to Add an article
the food
cities
for work or live is that it increasing in number
of Change the article
a number
the number
city
resisdents
which Correct your spelling
residents
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
image
of Add an article
the image
city
. There are a large Add an article
the city
number
of people
can
not Correct pronoun usage
who can
affort
a house in the Correct your spelling
afford
city
so they have to live in the slum, which creates a negative picture for the city
, especially, Correct article usage
a toursim
toursim
Correct your spelling
tourism
city
where travllers
will have a jugement on the Correct your spelling
travellers
city
and the country as well. Also
, people
try
to live in Wrong verb form
trying
the
Correct article usage
a
city
with low
standard of living will affect their Add an article
a low
the low
children
future.
In conclusion, Change noun form
children's
it is clear that
moving to city
has several negative impacts that Add an article
the city
causes
a Change the verb form
cause
lack
of workers working in agricultural
industry and Add an article
the agricultural
also
creates
a bad Change the verb form
create
imange
for the Correct your spelling
image
city
.Submitted by tranghathu16hd on
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task achievement
Your response to the task is complete and adequately addresses the question. However, try to make your arguments clearer by providing more detailed explanations and support.
task achievement
Some ideas are clearly presented, but increasing clarity and comprehensiveness would benefit your essay. Ensure each argument is fully developed with appropriate examples.
coherence cohesion
The essay structure is good; however, the transitions between some ideas could be smoother. Work on improving the logical flow of your arguments to guide the reader seamlessly from one point to the next.
coherence cohesion
Some ideas could benefit from thoughtful expansion. Try to limit the use of simple connectives and explore the use of more sophisticated linking words and phrases.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which sums up the main points effectively.
task achievement
Main points are identified and discussed, demonstrating a good understanding of the task.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.