19.Some people think that museums and art galleries should concentrate on showing local works rather than the cultures or artworks from other parts of the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, there has been an increase in the number of people who appreciate local
art
.
As a result
, more and more of them want to see it in
art
galleries
.
However
, at the same time, others claim that
such
institutions should be open
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
art
from all over the world.
While
both of these views have both pros and cons, in my opinion, museums should consist of all forms of
art
. Significant benefits of local
art
in
art
galleries
can be found. First and foremost, it can contribute to the promotion of artists from particular areas. Less popular painters cannot compete with world-famous ones, so if there are museums containing only local culture, it is much easier for them to present their artworks.
Furthermore
, it may
also
lead to the promotion of whole regions. It means that, if each region had a gallery with its local
art
, people would have to visit it in order to experience its culture.
On the other hand
, it is often said that it is better for
galleries
to consist of diverse sources of
art
. The most significant benefit of
such
an approach is the fact that museums can compete with each other.
Galleries
that have the largest funds are capable of collecting the best-known artworks,
consequently
earning the most money.
In addition
, it
also
possesses a relevant advantage for visitors. Storage of the most famous artists in one place not only
does
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
allows
galleries
to earn the most, but
also
enables visitors to see all major works at once. In conclusion, both
art
galleries
with local
art
only
as well as
those with more diverse ones have strengths and weaknesses. The first one creates an opportunity for the development of local artists and a whole region, which in my opinion is much more significant. The second one,
in contrast
, enables free competition between
such
institutions and constitutes a chance for visitors to see many world-famous artworks at once.
Submitted by kuba.glogowski on

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introduction conclusion present
You provided a clear introduction and conclusion, summarizing the main points well. However, try to make your thesis statement more explicit by clearly stating your stance in the introduction.
logical structure
Your logical structure is strong and your essay flows well. To improve further, make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next using linking phrases or words.
supported main points
While your main points are well supported, adding more specific examples or evidence can help strengthen your arguments. For instance, mention a well-known local artist or a gallery that successfully promotes local art.
complete response
The essay addressed the task comprehensively, covering both sides of the argument and presenting a clear opinion.
clear comprehensive ideas
The ideas presented were clear and comprehensible, making it easy for readers to follow your arguments.
relevant specific examples
The essay used relevant examples to support the main points, though it could benefit from even more specific details.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural gateways
  • global heritage
  • diversity
  • interconnectedness
  • global citizenship
  • empathy
  • community identity
  • preserve
  • celebrate
  • recognition
  • support
  • inclusive
  • educational experience
  • comprehensive view
  • human creativity
  • economic benefits
  • tourism
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