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Writing Samples
Band 6

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or disadvantages?

#people #work #hours #time #leisure #activities #situation
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Nowadays, the condition of the economy become a reason for people to spend more
time
 in the workplace. For many,
this
 habit is relevant to earning more
money
, and for others, it is for personal interest.
However
, there are more pros and cons to deciding to do
this
. In
this
 essay, I will discuss some of the reasons why many people
work
 long hours with some examples. Let's begin by looking at the advantages of working a lot; one of the main benefits of working more
time
 than regularly is that when you
work
 more, you earn more
money
. As you know, you give
money
 for every hour of
work
, and when you
work
 more hours, you earn more
money
, and it is a significant reason for
this
 issue.
Secondly
, working a lot can be a reason to progress in workstyle and sometimes can develop a lifestyle. Take ordinary staff,
for example
. In all companies, one of the standards is to try your task; if you
work
 harder, you can develop your position.
In other words
, you chose your position with your effort. Turning to the other side of the argument,
this
 situation can be proof of depression. When you pay more attention to your
work
 and do not pay attention to your regular
life
 and family, you become a robot and can not be interested in anything. What's more, you do not have any aim, and everything makes sense repetitively. Another issue is that
life
 happens one
time
; when you do not enjoy it on
time
, you can not enjoy another
time
. Many people believe that the worth of
life
 is more to ruin it with hard
work
.
In addition
, working is a facility to create an excellent
life
, but when you focus more than its value, you lose more particular things, which is called
life
. All things considered, Everyone should
work
 to reach their aim. You can handle it, and refrain from pressing yourself on which logical scheme. Living is the most valuable thing in the world, and nothing is worth destroying its significant
work
.
Submitted by bahram.azizzade on

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coherence cohesion
Provide a more structured approach to your essay, ensuring your ideas are presented in a clear, logical manner. Use cohesive devices effectively to connect paragraphs and sentences.
task achievement
Make sure to address all parts of the task and present a clear position throughout the response. Include a fully developed answer with well-supported ideas and arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • stress relief
  • productivity
  • economic growth
  • career progression
  • skill enhancement
  • quality time
  • financial security
  • leisure activities
  • physical health
  • personal relationships
  • stress-related illnesses
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