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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart compares 7 various factories that utilize ground and public water supply in a country. Data are expressed in millions of cubic meters.

The bar chart compares 7 various factories that utilize ground and public water supply in a country. Data are expressed in millions of cubic meters.
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The chart provides information on the number of the ground and the public
water
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 utilization by 7 different branches of the economy. The data clearly shows that the most
water
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 is used during the production of chemicals. In the case of public
water
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, both fuel
as well as
Linking Words
 textiles are responsible for 10
million
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 cubic meters,
while
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 paper is two times more than that – 20,000,000. Similar results have
also
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 been presented by the machinery and the metal, 100,000,000 and 90,000,000 respectively.
In addition
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, the production of food and drinks uses 190
million
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 cubic meters of
such
Linking Words
water
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,
while
Linking Words
 chemicals are 240,000,000.
On the other hand
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, groundwater is more often used in most examples. The fuel, textiles,
as well as
Linking Words
 foods and drinks, have a similar level of utilization, which is 70, 80, and 110
million
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 respectively. The metal needs 240,000,000 of
such
Linking Words
water
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,
while
Linking Words
 its highest number is observed in the case of chemicals at the level of 430
million
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.
In contrast
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, the machinery uses only 10,000,000 of it.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "as well as, such, while".
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, million with synonyms.
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