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Writing Samples
Band 7

The pie charts below show the different reasons for flight delays in a particular Asian country in 2015 and 2016. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts below show the different reasons for flight delays in a particular Asian country in 2015 and 2016. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The pie charts illustrate information about the five causes of flight delays in a specific country in Asia in 2015 and 2016. Looking from an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, it is readily apparent that the airline
operation
Use synonyms
 control had
significant
Add an article
a significant
show examples
 effect in delaying planes take off in both years. In stark contrast, securing
operation
Use synonyms
 and military factors had tiny segments among other reasons in 2015 and 2016, respectively.
To begin
Linking Words
 with 2015, in terms of the most remarkable proportion,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
airline
operation
Use synonyms
 management accounted for 40%
possessed
Correct word choice
and possessed
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 the biggest portion of all reasons for delaying, followed by air traffic management at 25%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
airport security did not have a noticeable effect
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
Linking Words
 regular occurrence. In comparison with 2016, still airline
operation
Use synonyms
 control had a significant part of the flight delay
rose
Wrong verb form
rising
show examples
 from 40% to 46% in 2016. In terms of the noticeable and
unsignificant
Correct your spelling
insignificant
 change, air traffic control dramatically plummeted 13% from 2015 to 2016 and the harsh weather merely increased from 21% to 23% over these years.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words operation with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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