IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below gives information about populations in Australia and Malaysia in 1980 and 2002. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The table below gives information about populations in Australia and Malaysia in 1980 and 2002. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
#information #populations #australia #malaysia #summarise #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given table shows information about changes
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 populations in
Australia
Use synonyms
 and
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 in 1980 and 2002 years. Units are measured in
percentage
Fix the agreement mistake
percentages
show examples
 and numbers. From an
overall
Linking Words
perspective
Add a comma
perspective,
show examples
 it is readily apparent that the total demographic indications
noticeable
Change the word
noticeably
show examples
 rose in
Malaysia
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 in
Australia
Use synonyms
 there was substantial
growth
Use synonyms
 among senior citizens. The birth rate in both countries declined,
while
Linking Words
 populations of men and women almost stayed
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 levels.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, both countries witnessed
growth
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 total population, near 5
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in
Australia
Use synonyms
 and more than 10 million
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
Malaysia
Use synonyms
. The
growth
Use synonyms
 of men and women hadn’t changed substantially in both countries, there was just
mere
Correct article usage
a mere
show examples
 0,3%
growth
Use synonyms
 trend for males and
in contrast
Linking Words
0.3
Correct article usage
a 0.3
show examples
% fall in
Malaysia
Use synonyms
. The indices of birth rates indicated changes, so there
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 a tiny fraction of 0.1%
growth
Use synonyms
 in
Australia
Use synonyms
 and 0.3% decline in
Malaysia
Use synonyms
. The residents over 65
noticeable
Change the word
noticeably
show examples
 grew, by 2.8% in
Australia
Use synonyms
 and 0.6% in
Malaysia
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by nairaaliyarova on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words australia, malaysia, growth with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "substantial" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: