IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think computer and internet are important in children's study, but other think students can learn effectively in school and with teachers . Discuss both sides and give your own opinion

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
A downright variance of view has been observed among the masses regarding effective tools for studies. A segment of the society contends that having instructive guidance
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 vitally important for adults for their academic work,opponents meanwhile,adhere to the notion of utilization of
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 for the same agenda.The ensuing paragraphs will proffer an insight into both doctrines and explain
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
why it is important to
considering
Wrong verb form
consider
show examples
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 for their academic work acts as
foster
Correct word choice
a fostering
show examples
 tool to learn about studies Not endorsed by everyone,yet approved by some individuals that
relying
Wrong verb form
rely
show examples
 on
tutors
Change noun form
tutors'
tutor's
show examples
guideness
Correct your spelling
guides
consider
Wrong verb form
considered
show examples
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
 effective tool to master their skills.To expand
this
Linking Words
 idea,
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
 tutors are
usally
Correct your spelling
usually
 role
model
Fix the agreement mistake
models
show examples
 for their students,as they are experienced and experts in studies,which
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 are learning,
moreover
Linking Words
,as individuals are directly connected with their instructors,
as a result
Linking Words
 ,they can clear their doubts without having any fear .
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
school
Correct article usage
the school
show examples
 environment under
educators
Change noun form
educators'
educator's
show examples
guideness
Correct your spelling
guides
 provides
them
Change the pronoun
their
show examples
 environment of learning ,which boasts their motivation and focus. Disjunctive to
this
Linking Words
, the idea of
utilization
Replace the word
utilising
show examples
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
act
Correct subject-verb agreement
acts
show examples
 as a more beneficial tool which is attested by myriads of people.The fundamental element associated with
this
Linking Words
 mechanism is the advantage of easy access,as students don't have to join any academy,since, they can search
about
Change preposition
for
show examples
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 doubts on
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
,as their a lot of information which is present on
google
Capitalize word
Google
show examples
,YouTube and other social platforms.Another worth-considering element analogous to the idea of
vast
Correct article usage
a vast
show examples
 of informative documentaries,
reasearches
Correct your spelling
research
 which are posted on
Use synonyms
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 by various experts
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
present.
For instance
Linking Words
,my cousin who
has
Verb problem
is
show examples
 top in his class,by asking,I
come
Wrong verb form
came
show examples
 to know he use various online methods for improving his
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
,
such
Linking Words
 as watching YouTube videos
for understanding
Change preposition
to understand
show examples
 topics and using
goagle
Change the capitalization
Goagle
show examples
 for making assignments.
To conclude
Linking Words
, both arguments carry their own reasoning,logic and pragmatism.Albeit,relying on
Use synonyms
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 seems advantageous in the long run
due to
Linking Words
 its weighty,indispensable and fringe benefits.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Work on improving sentence structure and grammar to make your ideas more comprehensible.
task achievement
Try to further develop and elaborate on your main points to provide a more complete response.
task achievement
The essay presented both sides of the argument clearly.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are present, providing a clear structure to the essay.
task achievement
Good use of examples to support your arguments, such as the one about your cousin.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • digital literacy
  • educational resources
  • interactive educational tools
  • personalized learning
  • immediate feedback
  • structured environment
  • social interaction
  • overall development
  • physical resources
  • practical learning
What to do next:
Look at other essays: