IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people believe that planing for the future is a waste of time because they think that focusing on the present is more important. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#people #future #waste #time
People
 have different views as to whether the present is crucial to
people
 or planning for the
future
.
While
 there are some obvious advantages of planning purposes in advance, I believe that focusing on the present progress in terms of education and jobs is more critical to both individuals and society as a whole. On the one hand, the preference for the present has many affective aspects on the development of our daily life and can enhance problem-solving skills, by gaining material or religious knowledge. It is acknowledged that the number of
people
 is able to create modern technologies, with the support of education.
This
 is exemplified by, the educational system of Finland's focusing on current education irrespective of the
future
 of students, whether they study.
As a result
, they can introduce not only aristocrats but
also
 plebeians into the society.
On the other hand
, to think the present causes safety and isolation from the concerns of the world. If individuals spend their necessary time thinking of
future
 dreams, or targets regarding careers or jobs, it is most probably time-wasting and perhaps, can lead to boredom from current situations.
Therefore
, those kinds of environments bring a sense of dissatisfaction associated with their job or study among the public.
In addition
,If
people
 tried too hard to study or work under pressure, they would not have spare time to think about their
future
 dreams and they would be successful in the progress work. In conclusion, it is just a possible thing to dream about the
future
,
however
, it can be impossible to complete oftentimes,
therefore
, I believe that most need to be planned for the present life because human beings are not able to know the
future
.
Submitted by yoqubjonovjamshidbek23 on

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task achievement
Clarify and expand ideas to provide a more complete response. Try to ensure each paragraph clearly reflects a particular point or argument and support it fully with explanations and examples.
task achievement
Work on providing more detailed and specific examples to support your ideas. Use examples that effectively illustrate the point you are making.
coherence cohesion
Focus on improving the logical flow between your ideas throughout the essay. Introduce transitions and linking phrases that help connect different sections smoothly and logically.
coherence cohesion
Occasionally, the arguments presented are not fully developed or coherent. Furthermore, some sentences are somewhat complex and difficult to follow.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clearly present, which gives the essay a complete structure.
task achievement
You effectively engage with the topic by offering distinct viewpoints on how focusing on the present impacts individuals and society.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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