In many countries around the world , rural people are moving to cities ,so the population in the country side is decreasing Do you think it is a positive or a negative development
One of the most significant changes on a global scale is the movement of people from rural
areas
to more populated ones, which causes a decrease in population
outside cities
. In this
essay, I elaborate on the reasons why I strongly believe that this
phenomenon is detrimental to the country regarding its agricultural industry and overpopulation.
The primary reason why I claim that shifting the population
from countryside
to Add an article
the countryside
cities
is disadvantageous is that it will bring negative impacts on the
agriculture. As many residents in rural Correct article usage
apply
areas
leave their home villages where the main industry is cultivating plants and feeding livestock, there is chronic
shortage of farmers, leading to the decline of their first industry. Add an article
a chronic
Furthermore
, once the farmlands become barren, it will need tremendous efforts to revitalise it as a farm. Consequently
, the country will face the depletion of food
supply, and Correct pronoun usage
its food
il
will be dependent on other countries for rations.
Another justification for my view is that Correct your spelling
it
cities
with growing population
will experience severe problems Fix the agreement mistake
populations
due to
overpopulation. Even if rural citizens reach a city, it does not mean that their employment is secured. Thus
, some of them may stay homeless, or others cannot help but commit crime
to live. As illegal residential Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
areas
will be also
constructed, the
security issues will arise. Correct article usage
apply
Additionally
, the discrimination will become more intense because original residents tend to attribute this
trend to people who come to their place.
In conclusion, the influx of population
from countryside
to Add an article
the countryside
cities
takes place in many countries. I vehemently believe that this
causes dismal consequences to both rural areas
and populated ones in terms of the
agriculture and overpopulation. Correct article usage
apply
Therefore
, the government should enrich rural regions to thrive and take appropriate measures to encourage citizens to stay there.Submitted by takuya13sugimoto on
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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples and evidence to strengthen your arguments. For instance, you could mention specific countries or regions where this trend has led to agricultural decline and overpopulation issues.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and develops it thoroughly. While your ideas are clear, further elaboration and in-depth analysis would make your points more convincing.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and well-defined structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This makes it easy for the reader to follow your arguments.
task achievement
Your response thoroughly addresses the prompt, discussing both the negative impacts on agriculture and overpopulation in cities.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.