Influence of human beings on the world's ecosystem is leasing to the extinction of species and loss of bio-diversity. What are the primary causes of loss of biodiversity? What solutions can you suggest?

These days, technology has been developing immediately
while
the
environmnet
Correct your spelling
environment
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
big
Add an article
a big
show examples
problem with it owing to the
fact
that we can see
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
number of species and
ecosystem
Fix the agreement mistake
ecosystems
show examples
are destroyed.
this
eassay
Correct your spelling
essay
discusses
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the main reasons that have
massive
Add an article
a massive
show examples
effect on our
sorrounding
Correct your spelling
surroundings
surrounding
and how we can solve
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
issues. Like other matters
injured
Add a comma
injured,
show examples
ecosystem has several reasons like
overpopulations
Fix the agreement mistake
overpopulation
show examples
and improving a range of technological devices. On the one hand, the main things that have
large
Correct article usage
a large
show examples
influence
one
Correct your spelling
on
show examples
the environment is
growing
Correct article usage
the growing
show examples
global
inhabitant
Fix the agreement mistake
inhabitants
show examples
inasmuch as when the figure of people who live
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
Earth
climb
Correct subject-verb agreement
climbs
show examples
, a
majarity
Correct your spelling
majority
of
forest
Fix the agreement mistake
forests
show examples
destroyed
Add a missing verb
are destroyed
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
buliding
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
places for these societies; in
fact
, we loss a lot of bio-diversity and plants that help us to do not have changeable climet.
On the other hand
, technology tools
ehnace
Correct your spelling
exist
, so most people want to use them;
moreover
, the
munber
Correct your spelling
number
of gadgets that
produced
Add a missing verb
are produced
show examples
Add a missing verb
has rise
show examples
rise
Replace the word
risen
show examples
;
therefore
, we have a lot of
factory
Change to a plural noun
factories
show examples
which generate a lot of not only
taxic
Correct your spelling
toxic
taxi
gases but
also
harmful trash that damage jungle.
This problems
Change the determiner
This problem
These problems
show examples
can be solved by governments and companies. On the one side, it is important that authorities have
plane
Correct your spelling
plans
show examples
for losing the communities and build
falts
Correct your spelling
flats
show examples
instead
of houses with
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
huge
yard
Fix the agreement mistake
yards
show examples
. On the other side, I advise that companies build devices that work for a long time the same as the first time;
additionally
, they make
plane
Add an article
a plane
show examples
that
lose
Change the verb form
loses
show examples
their
dengerous
Correct your spelling
dangerous
gases and garbages.
To conclude
, the
fact
that is
really essential
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
we should save our
palnet
Correct your spelling
planet
on account of the
fact
that
losseing
Correct your spelling
losing
bio-divercity
Correct your spelling
bio-diversity
and alternative weather have a large effect on our
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
and
governmnets
Correct your spelling
governments
government
and people are the main factor that can solve
this
questions
Fix the agreement mistake
question
show examples
.
Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar
Pay attention to grammatical errors and typos, such as 'immediately' instead of 'rapidly,' and 'eassay' instead of 'essay.' Proofreading can help catch these mistakes.
task
Try to elaborate on the solutions with more specific examples or steps to make them more persuasive.
structure
Work on improving your paragraph structure. Each paragraph should have one clear main idea and supporting sentences that tie back to that idea.
task
You have addressed both parts of the task by discussing the causes of biodiversity loss and suggesting solutions.
structure
Your essay contains an introduction and a conclusion, which helps to structure your argument.
vocabulary
You attempt to use a range of vocabulary related to the topic, such as 'ecosystem,' 'biodiversity,' 'technological devices', and 'harmful trash.'

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: