IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In
modern
Correct article usage
the modern
show examples
word
Correct your spelling
world
show examples
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people argue that
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 are equal. Both
Use synonyms
gender
Change to a plural noun
genders
show examples
 has
same
Add an article
the same
show examples
ability
Fix the agreement mistake
abilities
show examples
 and can do everything they want. In
entrance
Correct article usage
the entrance
show examples
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
Use synonyms
university
Add an article
the university
show examples
, it is debatable whether limiting
Use synonyms
gender
Correct article usage
the gender
show examples
 portion is necessary or not. Some argue it is needed to make them learn from each
gender
Use synonyms
 and others disagree that since
students
Use synonyms
 should be evaluated by their own ability. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand, some insist that accepting
equal
Correct article usage
an equal
show examples
ratio
Use synonyms
 of
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 is
better
Add an article
a better
the better
show examples
idea
Use synonyms
. People living with
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 genders easily lose
sense
Add an article
the sense
a sense
show examples
 of
gender
Use synonyms
 differences. In my case, I went
girls
Use synonyms
highschool
Correct your spelling
high school
show examples
. I
did't
Correct your spelling
didn't
 know the way
boys
Use synonyms
 talked and
interests
Correct article usage
the interests
show examples
 they had. That
leaded
Verb problem
made
show examples
me
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 hard to
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
communicate with men.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 we could learn from other
gender
Use synonyms
 by just seeing the lifestyle they act in life. I
also
Linking Words
 read an article which spotlighted
boys
Use synonyms
 and
girls
Use synonyms
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 different
strength
Fix the agreement mistake
strengths
show examples
 in
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
;
boys
Use synonyms
 are good at math
while
Linking Words
girls
Use synonyms
 are good at language. If
Correct article usage
the universitesy
show examples
universitesy
Correct your spelling
universities
university
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
show examples
 not
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
Use synonyms
gender
Correct article usage
a gender
show examples
huddle
Fix the agreement mistake
huddles
show examples
, the
gender
Use synonyms
ratio
Use synonyms
tilted
Add a missing verb
is tilted
show examples
 to one side stiffly. So
secure
Wrong verb form
securing
show examples
 some portion
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 each
gender
Use synonyms
 is
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 solution for
society
Add an article
a society
the society
show examples
which
Change preposition
in which
show examples
 both genders live together. On the other
hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
show examples
, others argue that
students
Use synonyms
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
 to enter
university
Use synonyms
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their individual
achievment
Correct your spelling
achievement
, which means unnatural
ratio
Use synonyms
 control is unfair.
Although
Linking Words
 there could be sexual genetic differences between
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
, personal effort
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
show examples
 more to their score.
For instance
Linking Words
, in my
country
Add a comma
country,
show examples
 there is a regulation
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
Use synonyms
gender
Correct article usage
the gender
show examples
ratio
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 educational
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
.
As a result
Linking Words
 of that,
boys
Use synonyms
 could enter
easily
Correct quantifier usage
more easily
show examples
 than
girls
Use synonyms
. It means a girl who got
higher
Add an article
a higher
show examples
 score than a boy could fail to enter the
university
Use synonyms
 since that rule. To avoid those
unequality
Correct your spelling
inequality
, it should be prohibited to secure some
gender
Use synonyms
 portion in
Correct article usage
the enterance
show examples
enterance
Correct your spelling
entrance
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
Use synonyms
university
Add an article
the university
show examples
.
To sum up
Linking Words
, the
idea
Use synonyms
 of having
equal
Correct article usage
an equal
show examples
gender
Use synonyms
 entrance
ratio
Use synonyms
 helps to
make
Verb problem
give
show examples
society
Add an article
a society
show examples
 with
higher
Add an article
a higher
show examples
 understanding of
other
Change the wording
another
show examples
gender
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 it could ignore
individuals
Change noun form
individuals'
individual's
show examples
effort
Fix the agreement mistake
efforts
show examples
 to enter there. I think
latter
Add an article
the latter
show examples
idea
Use synonyms
 is more reasonable.
All each
Correct determiner usage
Each
show examples
 of us has our own characteristics and potential. The
gender
Use synonyms
 limitation
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not care
those
Change preposition
about those
show examples
.
Linking Words
Furthermore
Add a comma
Furthermore,
show examples
 that
idea
Use synonyms
 could even make unhealthy
gender
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
idea
Fix the agreement mistake
ideas
show examples
 to
students
Use synonyms
. For
these
Change the determiner
this reason
these reasons
show examples
reason
Add a comma
reason,
show examples
 I strongly agree that
artificialy
Correct your spelling
artificially
artificial
 having half and half
gender
Use synonyms
 of
students
Use synonyms
 is not a good
idea
Use synonyms
.

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language
Work on refining your language and grammar to capture small nuances better.
examples
Ensure that your examples are relevant and directly support the points you are making.
structure
Improve transitions between paragraphs to enhance the flow of your essay.
structure
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
examples
You provided specific examples to support your points, which added value to your arguments.
balance
You addressed both sides of the argument, showing a balanced perspective.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender equality
  • inclusive environment
  • natural disparities
  • enforcing equal numbers
  • merit-based admission
  • qualified candidates
  • gender quotas
  • undermine
  • academic standards
  • guidance and support
  • societal biases
  • numeric equality
What to do next:
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