It has been suggested that all young adults should be required to undertake a period of unpaid work helping people in the community. Would the drawbacks of such a requirement be greater than the benefits to the community and the individual young adults?

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youngsters should help the

community

Use synonyms

by doing

work

Use synonyms

which is unpaid for the required time period

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

was suggested by many.

This

Linking Words

will benefit the

community

Use synonyms

but it

also

Linking Words

has a drawback for adults, because it might demotivate them and they expect money for their

work

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Firstly

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this

Linking Words

idea will benefit the

community

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and it will be very useful to the government but it will affect the youngster's minds and might give negative thoughts to them. They cannot

work

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for unpaid

jobs

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this

Linking Words

society because they have a degree with skills and knowledge.

For example

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, nowadays most youngsters

work

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part-time

jobs

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while

Linking Words

studying

Change preposition

show examples

university

Add an article

the university

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to pay their college bills, travel expenses, and other bills,

as a result

Linking Words

, in

this

Linking Words

situation, they

aaren't

Correct your spelling

aren't

work

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for unpaid

jobs

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or any irrelevant

work

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that not

gonna

Verb problem

going

show examples

pay them.

In addition

Linking Words

, after they finish their studies in university they have a huge responsibility to run a family and want to take good care of their parents. In today's world individual person has a regular income to maintain their needs and save their money for the next generation, and at that time it will be unworthy to

work

Use synonyms

in unpaid

jobs

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therefore

Linking Words

unpaid

work

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does not match their need in modern society.

For instance

Linking Words

, if they volunteer to

work

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for the

community

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without pay it will added only to their resume,

Correct word choice

and it

show examples

will not give

Correct pronoun usage

them a

show examples

Change the article

the

show examples

skill

Fix the agreement mistake

skills

show examples

to get the next job. In conclusion, there will be more benefits to the government for the unpaid workers but it

also

Linking Words

has a huge disadvantage for the youngsters without salaries. But there are some people who volunteer to do some activities.

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coherence cohesion

Your introduction provides a clear statement of the topic, but it could be stronger with a thesis statement that outlines your main arguments more clearly.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that sentences flow logically from one to the next. This will help improve the overall coherence and cohesion of your essay.

task achievement

Your essay touches on relevant points, but you need to provide more detailed examples and explanations to fully support your arguments.

task achievement

As you develop your main points, use specific examples to illustrate your arguments. This will make your essay more convincing and comprehensive.

coherence cohesion

Your conclusion restates the main idea, but it can be stronger by summarizing the key points discussed in the body paragraphs and clearly highlighting your stance.

task achievement

Your essay addresses the prompt and provides a balanced view on the topic, considering both the benefits and drawbacks of unpaid work for young adults.

coherence cohesion

You have organized your essay into clear paragraphs, which helps in presenting your ideas systematically.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

277 words

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It has been suggested that all young adults should be required to undertake a period of unpaid work helping people in the community. Would the drawbacks of such a requirement be greater than the benefits to the community and the individual young adults?

Your opinion

Employers should give staff at least four weeks holidays a year to make employees better at their jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think they newspapers are the best way to get news. However others believe that other media are better source of news. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that students should not be given homework, while others think that homework is important for children, what is your opinion?

Some people like to do their everyday shopping at large supermarkets. Others want to go to several small stores or local markets to buy what they need. Which style of shopping do you prefer and why? Give reasons and examples to support your answer.

An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What can be done to deal with this situation?