Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree or dis agree?
A lot of millennials believe that
government
should not spend money on the arts , but it should be used on something more valuable to the
Correct article usage
apply
society
. I partially believe with
the statementChange preposition
apply
,
Correct word choice
that, government
government
should try to maintain a striking balance Add an article
the government
while
spending public money for the welfare of the
Correct article usage
apply
society
. In this
essay, I will shed light on both views and put forth my opinion on the matter.
Analysing the statement, in the
developed countries art is promoted as it acts as a stress buster for Correct article usage
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
society
. Artist
can be Fix the agreement mistake
Artists
performer
, Fix the agreement mistake
performers
painter
, story Fix the agreement mistake
painters
writer
, Fix the agreement mistake
writers
comedian
or Fix the agreement mistake
comedians
singer
. They alleviate the burden of hectic Fix the agreement mistake
singers
routine
and spread happiness among the community through various sources. They reflect social evils and try to correct the behaviour of Fix the agreement mistake
routines
society
. Government
should invest in stage shows, Correct article usage
The government
performances
to unleash the burden of Correct word choice
and performances
society
promoting a peaceful life.
Explaining further
, another school of thought belongs to developing countries where the society
lacks basic amenities such
as education, hospitals and housing. Indivduals
believe Correct your spelling
Individuals
government
should spend the money Correct article usage
the government
for building
new schools thereby reducing Change preposition
to build
illiteracy
rate. Investment should be made in improving Correct article usage
the illiteracy
the
medical facilities so that people can receive treatment and reduce the illness Correct article usage
apply
from
Change preposition
in
society
.
To conclude
, in my opinion, government
is Add an article
the government
highest
authority and regulatory body and should work for Change the article
the highest
well-being
of the community. It should facilitate artists with stage shows and promote entertainment to de-stress Add an article
the well-being
the
Correct article usage
apply
society
. However
, equal importance should be given to basic amenities for instance
clinics, education
Correct word choice
and education
system
that are required to provide a comfortable living to the community.Fix the agreement mistake
systems
Submitted by jyotikhera2712 on
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task achievement
To further improve the task response, try to provide more specific examples and details, particularly in supporting the points about government investment in the arts. Real-world examples or specific scenarios can make your argument more compelling and concrete.
coherence cohesion
To enhance logical structure, make sure that each paragraph clearly develops a single main idea and that there is a smooth logical flow from one paragraph to the next. This can include using clearer topic sentences and transition phrases.
coherence cohesion
While your introduction and conclusion are present, make sure that your conclusion directly ties back to the points made in the body paragraphs for maximum coherence. This can also help reinforce the main arguments of your essay.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced view, reflecting both sides of the argument thoroughly, which is very effective for task achievement. You have clearly stated your opinion and provided a fair analysis of the opposing views.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-structured, providing a strong framework for your essay and summarizing the main points effectively.
coherence cohesion
There is a good level of logical organization and flow throughout the essay, making it easy to follow your arguments from one point to the next.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.