Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree or dis agree?

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A lot of millennials believe that
government
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should not spend money on the arts , but it should be used on something more valuable to
the
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apply
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society
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. I partially believe
with
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apply
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the statement
,
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that, government
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Use synonyms
government
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the government
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should try to maintain a striking balance
while
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spending public money for the welfare of
the
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apply
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society
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. In
this
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essay, I will shed light on both views and put forth my opinion on the matter. Analysing the statement, in
the
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apply
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developed countries art is promoted as it acts as a stress buster for
the
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apply
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society
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.
Artist
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Artists
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can be
performer
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performers
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,
painter
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painters
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, story
writer
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writers
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,
comedian
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comedians
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or
singer
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singers
show examples
. They alleviate the burden of hectic
routine
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routines
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and spread happiness among the community through various sources. They reflect social evils and try to correct the behaviour of
society
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.
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Government
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The government
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should invest in stage shows,
performances
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and performances
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to unleash the burden of
society
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promoting a peaceful life. Explaining
further
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, another school of thought belongs to developing countries where the
society
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lacks basic amenities
such
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as education, hospitals and housing.
Indivduals
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Individuals
believe
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government
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the government
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should spend the money
for building
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to build
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new schools thereby reducing
illiteracy
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the illiteracy
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rate. Investment should be made in improving
the
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apply
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medical facilities so that people can receive treatment and reduce the illness
from
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in
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society
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.
To conclude
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, in my opinion,
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government
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the government
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is
highest
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the highest
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authority and regulatory body and should work for
well-being
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the well-being
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of the community. It should facilitate artists with stage shows and promote entertainment to de-stress
the
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apply
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society
Use synonyms
.
However
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, equal importance should be given to basic amenities
for instance
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clinics,
education
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and education
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system
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systems
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that are required to provide a comfortable living to the community.
Submitted by jyotikhera2712 on

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task achievement
To further improve the task response, try to provide more specific examples and details, particularly in supporting the points about government investment in the arts. Real-world examples or specific scenarios can make your argument more compelling and concrete.
coherence cohesion
To enhance logical structure, make sure that each paragraph clearly develops a single main idea and that there is a smooth logical flow from one paragraph to the next. This can include using clearer topic sentences and transition phrases.
coherence cohesion
While your introduction and conclusion are present, make sure that your conclusion directly ties back to the points made in the body paragraphs for maximum coherence. This can also help reinforce the main arguments of your essay.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced view, reflecting both sides of the argument thoroughly, which is very effective for task achievement. You have clearly stated your opinion and provided a fair analysis of the opposing views.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-structured, providing a strong framework for your essay and summarizing the main points effectively.
coherence cohesion
There is a good level of logical organization and flow throughout the essay, making it easy to follow your arguments from one point to the next.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural enrichment
  • economic stimulus
  • essential services
  • healthcare
  • education
  • infrastructure
  • public safety
  • tangible benefits
  • creativity
  • critical thinking
  • job creation
  • performance arts
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