Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree or dis agree?

#people #government #money #arts #dis

A lot of millennials believe that

government

should not spend money on the arts , but it should be used on something more valuable to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

. I partially believe

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the statement

Correct word choice

that, government

show examples

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

should try to maintain a striking balance

while

spending public money for the welfare of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

. In

this

essay, I will shed light on both views and put forth my opinion on the matter. Analysing the statement, in

the

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developed countries art is promoted as it acts as a stress buster for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

Artist

Fix the agreement mistake

Artists

show examples

can be

performer

Fix the agreement mistake

performers

show examples

painter

Fix the agreement mistake

painters

show examples

, story

writer

Fix the agreement mistake

writers

show examples

comedian

Fix the agreement mistake

comedians

show examples

singer

Fix the agreement mistake

singers

show examples

. They alleviate the burden of hectic

routine

Fix the agreement mistake

routines

show examples

and spread happiness among the community through various sources. They reflect social evils and try to correct the behaviour of

society

Government

Correct article usage

The government

show examples

should invest in stage shows,

performances

Correct word choice

and performances

show examples

to unleash the burden of

society

promoting a peaceful life. Explaining

further

, another school of thought belongs to developing countries where the

society

lacks basic amenities

such

as education, hospitals and housing.

Indivduals

Correct your spelling

Individuals

believe

government

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the government

show examples

should spend the money

for building

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to build

show examples

new schools thereby reducing

illiteracy

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the illiteracy

show examples

rate. Investment should be made in improving

the

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apply

show examples

medical facilities so that people can receive treatment and reduce the illness

from

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show examples

society

To conclude

, in my opinion,

government

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the government

show examples

highest

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the highest

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authority and regulatory body and should work for

well-being

Add an article

the well-being

show examples

of the community. It should facilitate artists with stage shows and promote entertainment to de-stress

the

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apply

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society

However

, equal importance should be given to basic amenities

for instance

clinics,

education

Correct word choice

and education

show examples

system

Fix the agreement mistake

systems

show examples

that are required to provide a comfortable living to the community.

Submitted by jyotikhera2712 on Wed Sep 25 2024

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task achievement

To further improve the task response, try to provide more specific examples and details, particularly in supporting the points about government investment in the arts. Real-world examples or specific scenarios can make your argument more compelling and concrete.

coherence cohesion

To enhance logical structure, make sure that each paragraph clearly develops a single main idea and that there is a smooth logical flow from one paragraph to the next. This can include using clearer topic sentences and transition phrases.

coherence cohesion

While your introduction and conclusion are present, make sure that your conclusion directly ties back to the points made in the body paragraphs for maximum coherence. This can also help reinforce the main arguments of your essay.

task achievement

The essay presents a balanced view, reflecting both sides of the argument thoroughly, which is very effective for task achievement. You have clearly stated your opinion and provided a fair analysis of the opposing views.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are well-structured, providing a strong framework for your essay and summarizing the main points effectively.

coherence cohesion

There is a good level of logical organization and flow throughout the essay, making it easy to follow your arguments from one point to the next.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

262 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

cultural enrichment
economic stimulus
essential services
healthcare
education
infrastructure
public safety
tangible benefits
creativity
critical thinking
job creation
performance arts

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Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree or dis agree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

SOME PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT FAST PACE AND STRESS OF MODERN LIFE IS HAVING A NEGATIVE EFFECT ON FAMILIES. TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE.

Some universities now offer their courses on the Internet so that people can study online. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Some people think that exercise is the key to health while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

Most high-level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 per cent female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. To what extent do you agree?