These days more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work. What could be the reasons for this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Nowadays,
gender- related
Correct your spelling
gender-related
show examples
roles
have changed, and men stay at home to take care of their children, and
women
are more active outside of the house.
This
matter, which I think is completely positive, could have some reasons like the equal
view point
Correct your spelling
viewpoints
show examples
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
both sexes in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
societies
, and
women
Change noun form
women's
show examples
increased desires for progression. To commence with,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern
societies
have changed traditional
roles
through some movements like Feminism.
In other words
,
this
movement changed the priority of men
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and has created an equal
view point
Correct your spelling
viewpoint
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
both genders.
Consequently
,
women
could distance themselves from traditional expectations, and follow their wants.
For example
, the ratio of
women
employees in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
different kinds of jobs has increased in the
last
decades, which shows the superiority of
females
in following their dreams.
On the other hand
, with
expansion
Add an article
the expansion
an expansion
show examples
of modern
societies
Add a comma
societies,
show examples
the progression
desire
Change preposition
of desire
show examples
is highlighted, and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
females
have been impacted too. In
this
state, achieving
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
superior
roles
becomes a main target, and
this
stream, far from gender, changes the atmosphere of
societies
. Meanwhile, it must be considered that with
regards
Fix the agreement mistake
regard
show examples
to the oppressive impact of the past,
females
try to verify their abilities outside of the traditional
roles
.
For instance
, today
women
have acquired high positions in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
executive
roles
, which
demonstrate
Correct subject-verb agreement
demonstrates
show examples
their attempt to achieve their wishes of superiority in
the
Replace the word
society
show examples
societies
. In a nutshell, modernism has impacted the
color
Change the spelling
colour
show examples
of
societies
, and the traditional role of
females
has changed.
This
variation could be
due to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
revolutions like feminism, and the highlighted role of progression desire among people
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
women
.
Submitted by aksoysana on

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coherence cohesion
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task achievement
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coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, giving it a well-rounded feel.
task achievement
Main points are relevant and backed up by some examples, showing understanding of the topic.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • breadwinner
  • caregiving
  • paternal leave
  • societal perceptions
  • gender roles
  • flexible working conditions
  • personal preference
  • father-child relationship
  • emotional and social development
  • household responsibilities
  • career opportunities
  • professional achievements
  • balanced parenting
  • earning potential
  • social stigma
  • societal pressure
  • discrimination
  • traditional mindsets
  • resentment
  • adjustment
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