These days more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work. What could be the reasons for this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
Nowadays,
gender- related
Correct your spelling
gender-related
roles
have changed, and men stay at home to take care of their children, and women
are more active outside of the house. This
matter, which I think is completely positive, could have some reasons like the equal view point
Correct your spelling
viewpoints
to
both sexes in Change preposition
of
the
Correct article usage
apply
societies
, and women
increased desires for progression.
To commence with, Change noun form
women's
the
modern Correct article usage
apply
societies
have changed traditional roles
through some movements like Feminism. In other words
, this
movement changed the priority of men,
and has created an equal Remove the comma
apply
view point
Correct your spelling
viewpoint
to
both genders. Change preposition
for
Consequently
, women
could distance themselves from traditional expectations, and follow their wants. For example
, the ratio of women
employees in the
different kinds of jobs has increased in the Correct article usage
apply
last
decades, which shows the superiority of females
in following their dreams.
On the other hand
, with expansion
of modern Add an article
the expansion
an expansion
societies
the progression Add a comma
societies,
desire
is highlighted, and Change preposition
of desire
the
Correct article usage
apply
females
have been impacted too. In this
state, achieving to
Change preposition
apply
the
superior Correct article usage
apply
roles
becomes a main target, and this
stream, far from gender, changes the atmosphere of societies
. Meanwhile, it must be considered that with regards
to the oppressive impact of the past, Fix the agreement mistake
regard
females
try to verify their abilities outside of the traditional roles
. For instance
, today women
have acquired high positions in the
executive Correct article usage
apply
roles
, which demonstrate
their attempt to achieve their wishes of superiority in Correct subject-verb agreement
demonstrates
the
Replace the word
society
societies
.
In a nutshell, modernism has impacted the color
of Change the spelling
colour
societies
, and the traditional role of females
has changed. This
variation could be due to
the
revolutions like feminism, and the highlighted role of progression desire among people Correct article usage
apply
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
women
.Submitted by aksoysana on
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coherence cohesion
To improve your logical structure, it's important to ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly from one idea to the next. Using linking words or phrases can help to achieve this.
task achievement
Providing more specific examples could make your argument stronger. For instance, including data or real-world cases can significantly bolster your points.
task achievement
Clarify your ideas by ensuring your sentences are concise and to the point. Avoid overly complex structures that could make your arguments less clear.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, giving it a well-rounded feel.
task achievement
Main points are relevant and backed up by some examples, showing understanding of the topic.
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