IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

People believe that they should be able to keep all the money they earn and should not pay tax to the state. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #money #tax
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Some individuals think they should be exempted from paying taxes to the
country
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 where he/she belongs and save all his/her income to himself/herself. I completely disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because it will affect mostly the health sectors and educational sectors of the government. To commence with, the
tax
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 is the lifeline of the government to function and to serve its
people
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, so, if the
people
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 keep all the money they earn and do not pay the
tax
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 to the state,
therefore
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 the health sectors will be weakened and will not be able to provide quality services to the
people
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.
Moreover
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, new diseases will appear and it will be hard for to administration to aid them
,
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apply
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 because there are not enough funds.
For instance
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, almost all countries have been affected by the COVID-19 virus, and it is difficult for them to control it, most of the funds of the government were allotted to hospitals to cure and save
people
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, and most countries need to seek financial assistance from National Bank to just have a budget to support the patients and the whole nation. So, many countries have a debt to the bank that needs to pay and with the help of workers and consumers
tax
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 and no time it will be paid.
Secondly
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, the educational sector will be damaged as well, if the
people
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 decide to not contribute a small portion of earned money to the state because learning is vital to one's life, it will give a lot of opportunities and it will
also
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 boost the economic growth of the
country
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.
For example
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, if all the citizens of the
country
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 are professionals and educated, the investors will be attracted to invest. So, education is one of the reasons why a
country
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 is successful. In conclusion, some
people
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 will believe that
tax
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 is a burden to them, but
this
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 is the only way to sustain and support the economy, and health care. and the education system of the state.
Submitted by alyssa.cordero22 on

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task achievement
While your essay provides a clear stance and addresses both key sectors (health and education), ensure that each paragraph centers around a single idea and delves deeper into that area. This will enhance the essay's clarity even more.
coherence cohesion
Work on refining the transitions between ideas to improve the flow of your essay. Use linking words and phrases to ensure your points are logically connected.
coherence cohesion
Your essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which gives a nice structure to your response.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples, such as the impact of COVID-19 on health sectors, which strengthens your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • contribute
  • welfare
  • public services
  • progressive taxation
  • distribution of wealth
  • civic duty
  • social cohesion
  • tax evasion
  • economic disparities
  • social unrest
  • individual rights
  • societal responsibilities
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