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Writing Samples
Band 4

WRITING TASK 2 You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.

#minutes #topic #species #animals #risk
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All
animals
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 are so crucial for human life. Since
animals
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 have many benefits for us. To illustrate cows make milk, chickens give eggs, bees produce honey etc.
Therefore
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, we should care for and protect whole
animals
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.
Otherwise
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, we can encounter certain problems. These are malnutrition, distrust of
streets
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 and pollution etc.
Firstly
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, humans need all
animals
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. Seeing that, every animal has a mission. To oversimplify, elephants help people
to
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apply
show examples
cut down trees, dogs are used for first aid and bats are ordered away from spiders. Thereby, we need them.
Secondly
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, providing that
animals
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 did not exist, the
streets
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 would be dirty. Seeing as some
animals
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 clean the
streets
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. To exemplify, snails, caterpillars, cats etc.
Therefore
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, we must keep
animals
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 alive to prevent on-the-street pollution.
Thirdly
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, dogs are necessary for the
streets
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 to be safe. In that,
animals
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 are conserved on
streets
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. To clarify, dogs embower the
streets
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 from wolves and foxes etc. Thereby, we must not disturb the balance of nature. All in all, there are many advantages of
animals
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 for people all over the world in terms of helping, giving milk and cutting down to the people. From my point of view, I strongly believe that
animals
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 must live in their habitats and we should feed them wishfully.
Submitted by eylulelveren7 on

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task achievement
Your essay would benefit from a clearer, more specific thesis statement in the introduction. This could help focus your response more sharply on the reasons for animal extinction and the solutions to this problem.
task achievement
Some of the reasons and examples you provided could be more directly relevant and detailed to address the specific question about why some species are almost extinct and what should be done to solve this problem.
coherence cohesion
Consider organizing your main points more logically and clearly linking them to the central topic. This would make your essay easier to follow and your argument more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Using transitional phrases and words could help improve the coherence of your essay. This includes phrases like 'one reason for this', 'another cause is', 'to address this issue', which can make your writing flow better.
task achievement
Your main points could be further developed with more specific examples and detailed explanations. For instance, discussing specific human activities leading to extinction and practical solutions like conservation efforts would strengthen your essay.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates a good understanding of the importance of animals in human life and provides several relevant reasons why animals are essential.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, and the essay is structured in a way that is easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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