Some people believe that children should spend all of their free time with their family. Others believe that this is unnecessary or even negative. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Some people think that it is important for
children
to spend their free free
Remove the redundancy
apply
time
with their families
while
others believe that it has a negative effect.in this
essay, I will discuss both points of view.As far as I'm concerned, I strongly agree with the statement that children
should spend time
with their friends
.
Starting from the people who argue that spending all free time
with families
should be the first priority of children
because it helps them to improve their bonding with their parents.Meanwhile engaging in combined activities enhances their understanding and communication among family members.Additionally
, parents help their children
to raise social, cultural and traditional values.It has been proven by many times by world health organisations that children
become lazy and ignorant and do not spend time
with their families
.
On the other hand
,there are few people who are against that it is worthless to spend all their leisure time
with their families
because children
will lose their independence and self-confidence.Furthermore
, children
learn strategies from their friends
to face difficult situations. Competition is growing day by day,when children
spend some time
with their friends
they learn to compete .it has been shown from many studies,children
who do not spend with Correct pronoun usage
that children
friends
becomes
lazy and ignorant.Correct subject-verb agreement
become
therefore
it is important for them to spend time
with their friends
.
To sum up
.it appear
that,Change the verb form
appears
while
family time
is essential for bonding and understanding,there are advantages of going outside the family too.I strongly agree it is necessary for children
to spend with friends
for their overall
growth.Submitted by madihaali8470 on
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coherence cohesion
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task achievement
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coherence cohesion
Improve sentence structure and grammar usage. Minor inaccuracies in grammar can confuse readers, so ensure that sentences are clear and well-constructed.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a solid introduction and conclusion that convey the main points effectively.
complete response
The discussion addresses both views on the topic, providing a balanced perspective, which contributes well to task achievement.
clear comprehensive ideas
There is a clear opinion expressed, and the essay maintains a consistent position throughout the discussion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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