It is important for everyone , including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree whit this statement.
In recent years, the topic of saving
money
for future
has sparked considerable debate. I firmly believe that stashing Correct article usage
the future
money
for future
is essential for every single individual Correct article usage
the future
specially
young ones. The reasons will be discussed in the following paragraphs.
Replace the word
especially
On
compelling reason for my stance is Correct your spelling
One
ability
to use upcoming financial opportunities. Add an article
the ability
This
can be illustrated by saving money
will make individual
, specifically youth , capable of taking the financial chances that they will confront. Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
For instance
, during the COVID pandemic
Bitcoin price dropped to 3000$ per coin. I decided to buy Bitcoin but I did not have enough Add a comma
pandemic,
money
. If I had saved money
my profit by buying Bitcoin would be around 60000$ per coin by now which underscores this
point effectively.
Furthermore
, another significant aspect to consider is mental tranquility
. Change the spelling
tranquillity
This
highlight
the fact that reserved Change the verb form
highlights
money
can be a life saver
during unexpected circumstances. An example of Correct your spelling
lifesaver
this
can be found in some illnesses like cancer which need a huge amount of money
to be cured if health insurance is not contained. In this
situation
patient do not need to think about Add a comma
situation,
costs
of treatment if they have saved Correct article usage
the costs
money
in their bank account and they can peacefully pass the treatment procedure which demonstrate
the mental Change the verb form
demonstrates
tranquility
relevance Change the spelling
tranquillity
to
pre-saved Change preposition
of
money
.
In conclusion, the arguments clearly support my view that saving money
for future
is essential. It can help people to Correct article usage
the future
whether
improve their financial status or deal with unwanted Correct word choice
apply
situation
.Fix the agreement mistake
situations
Submitted by mehdi1998d on
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grammar and accuracy
Ensure accurate grammar and try to minimize minor inaccuracies such as 'specially' instead of 'especially', and 'stance is ability to use upcoming financial opportunities' which could be rephrased as 'stance is the ability to capitalize on future financial opportunities'.
example extension
Extend your examples with slightly more detail to demonstrate the depth of your understanding. For instance, in the Bitcoin example, some additional context could help to elucidate the point further.
structure highlight
Clear introduction and conclusion which succinctly summarise the essay's main points.
example usage highlight
Good use of specific examples to support main points, such as the Bitcoin investment and medical expenses.
structure highlight
Logical structure that flows well from one idea to the next, enhancing the essay's readability.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite