IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries traditional foods are being replaced by international fast foods . This is having a negative effects on both families and societies . To what extent do you agree or disagree

#countries #foods #effects #families #societies
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Globalization has connected our world
in
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at
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 an increasingly fast pace,spreading its
influcence
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influence
 to all corners of the
global
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globe
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.In some countries,it is reported that
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon has led to the loss of cultural identity in terms of the
food
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 people eat.which has serious consequences on a country's heritage.As far as I am concerned,
while
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 the preservation of
tradtional
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traditional
 foods is vital,the inclusion of international fast
food
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 is undoubtedly crucial as well. Eating fast
food
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 can bring about various positive aspects for families and societies.Take going for a family trip as an example,
prepaing
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preparing
prepaying
 traditional foods can be an exhausting task in some countries,taking up a great deal of time and effort.
Nevertheless
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,it seems more convenient just to grab some burgers and drinks from a street
food
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 vendor.
In addition
Linking Words
,having international
food
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 is not a
theart
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threat
 to
traditioanl
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traditional
 cuisine.They can be mixed and adapted to suit the local
flavor
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flavour
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.
For instance
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,pizza
was
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apply
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originated from Italy but it has made some changes after the immigration of some Italians to America.Various
topping
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toppings
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 can be added to the pizza
such
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 as pineapple,sausages and even Peking roast duck.
Although
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 the aforementioned can stand firmly as justified reasons concerning the inclusion of international fast
food
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,some claim that it has some negative effects.
Environment
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The environment
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 is the first concern. It is shown that 90% of fast
food
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 sold is packed in plastic boxes which are undegradable,contributing significantly to
environmental
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the environmental
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 population.The second concern is health.Fast
food
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 is typically high in calories, fat, and sugar, which has been linked to the global increase in obesity, diabetes, and other diet-related health issues.What's more,critics
Linking Words
also
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are also
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 concern about
te
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the
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 potential loss of agricultural diversity.Relying on fast
food
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 may reduce the demand for local produce, potentially leading to a decline in the variety of crops grown,
affecting
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and affecting
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 biodiversity. The way to solve these problems is that eco-friendly packaging
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear structure with a well-defined introduction and conclusion. Summarize the main points and restate your position in the conclusion.
task achievement
Develop each idea more comprehensively. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea, supported by relevant examples and explanations.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced viewpoint by discussing both positive and negative aspects of international fast food replacing traditional foods.
task achievement
Relevant and specific examples, such as the evolution of pizza, enhance the argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay logically sequences ideas, making it relatively easy to follow the argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural identity
  • heritage
  • culinary practices
  • prevalent
  • obesity
  • diabetes
  • diet-related health issues
  • economic challenges
  • street food vendors
  • family dynamics
  • on-the-go
  • environmental degradation
  • sustainable
  • eco-friendly
  • homogenization
  • foodscapes
  • agricultural diversity
  • biodiversity
What to do next:
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