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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some experts believe that it is better for childeren to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondry school. do the advantages of this out weigh the dis advatages.

#experts #childeren #language #school #secondry #dis #advatages
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A lot of millennials are of the notion that students should be introduced
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 foreign
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language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
show examples
 at an early stage rather than in high school. There are various strengths and weaknesses of the mentioned statement. In
this
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 essay, I will shed light on both and put forward my views on the matter. Analysing the statement, children should start learning a secondary
language
Use synonyms
 from
the
Correct article usage
apply
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primary school. One of the main
advantage
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advantages
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 is they can learn the
language
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 easily at a young
age
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 as compared to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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adults.
Due to
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 globalization, schools participate in international competitions in various sectors
such
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 as sports, science
olympiad
Fix the agreement mistake
olympiads
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, mathematics
olympiad
Fix the agreement mistake
olympiads
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 and many more.
Global
Add an article
The global
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language
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 will facilitate a platform
to
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for
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 students to take part in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
global events and represent their nation among various countries. It will boost their confidence and improve their communication skills at an early
age
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. On the flip side, there are several drawbacks associated
to
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with
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this
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.
First,
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in order to get global recognition at
young
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a young
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age
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 parents and schools neglect the local
languages
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, which are equally important to stay connected to our culture and traditions.
Second,
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our traditional
languages
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 are losing their identification at a global level and are becoming extinct.
Government
Correct article usage
The government
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 should organize competitions within the country in traditional
languages
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 to preserve them and our traditions as well. In conclusion, early
age
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 is the best time to adapt and learn new skills or
language
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. Not only children should learn foreign
Use synonyms
language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
show examples
due to
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 the global requirement, but
also
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 give attention to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traditional
languages
Use synonyms
 and save them from the verge of extinction.
Submitted by jyotikhera2712 on

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task achievement
Consider adding more specific examples to support your points. This will make your argument more compelling and robust.
task achievement
Focus on clarifying your ideas more comprehensively. Avoid ambiguous statements and ensure each point is fully explained.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is generally well-structured, work on the transitions between paragraphs to ensure a smoother flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
The introduction sets a clear context for the essay and outlines the main points that will be discussed.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear conclusion that summarizes the main arguments and provides a balanced viewpoint.
task achievement
You have identified both advantages and disadvantages and have provided a well-rounded perspective on the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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