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Many people nowadays see a counselor or therapist to improve their mental health. Some feel, however, that this is unnecessary. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#people #counselor #therapist #health #feel
It is argued by many people that if one wants to improve his/her mental health
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
than
Replace the word
then
show examples
 they should consult
therapist
Add an article
a therapist
show examples
 for it,
where as
Correct your spelling
whereas
show examples
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 assume it
as
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 an
unworthful
Correct your spelling
un-worthful
 act. I completely agree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the ideas and will support my opinion with examples in
this
 essay. Commencing the first idea, attending
counseling
Change the spelling
counselling
show examples
 and
theraphic
Correct your spelling
therapeutic
sessions
 are considered key to
recover
Wrong verb form
recovering
show examples
 one's mental health. It is important for the individual to consult
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 psychologist for their mental problems.
Moreover
, through different
councling
Correct your spelling
counselling
sessions
, one can overcome the hurdles and even they are presented with the solutions as well.
Therapist
Fix the agreement mistake
Therapists
show examples
also
 groom the personality of the patients and make them mentally strong and capable of facing any risks in their lives.
Lets
Replace the word
Let's
Let us
show examples
 take the example of my Uncle who was mentally unfit.
Therefore
, some
sessions
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
psychologist
Correct article usage
a psychologist
show examples
 helped him
in recovering
Wrong verb form
recover
show examples
 from his mental issues and
also
 made him mentally fit to some
extant
Correct your spelling
extent
show examples
.
Thus
, it is
cleared
Replace the word
clear
show examples
 that therapists and
counselors
Change the spelling
counsellors
show examples
 are
important
Add an article
an important
show examples
part
Fix the agreement mistake
parts
show examples
 of society as they can help humans
in living
Wrong verb form
live
show examples
 their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 peacefully. Moving to the other idea, many individuals think that it is useless and unfruitful thought to attend
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
therapy
sessions
. To
them
Add a comma
them,
show examples
 it has some negative impacts on the lives of people.
Firstly
, their social image is
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 stake.
These kind
Change the determiner
This kind
These kinds
show examples
 of patients have fear that they would be called psycho in their
sorroundings
Correct your spelling
surroundings
.
Secondly
, after attending
sessions
 they feel shy in facing their own families.
Thirdly
, wrong therapy can sometimes worsen the situation for them, which will make patients unfit for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society and even for the family as well. My brother's example will
clearify
Correct your spelling
clarify
 the above argument.
As he
Correct word choice
He
show examples
 was
also
 suffering from some mental issues and
wrong
Correct article usage
the wrong
show examples
therapist
 had
worsen
Change the verb form
worsened
show examples
 the situation not only for him but for us as well.
In
Change preposition
As
show examples
result
Correct article usage
a result
show examples
, he confined himself
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 a room and
was feeling
Wrong verb form
felt
show examples
 shy and depressed in facing
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
.
Hence
, it is proven that
counclers
Correct your spelling
counsellors
 and therapists are for the help of
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 but sometimes wrong decisions and
wrong
Correct article usage
the wrong
show examples
therapist
Fix the agreement mistake
therapists
show examples
 will make things more critical, which will not only damage the mental health of
patient
Add an article
the patient
show examples
 but will
also
 be
curical
Correct your spelling
crucial
 for the people around him/her.
Submitted by hadiyanasir73 on

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grammar
Improve the grammar and spelling. For example, 'unworthful' should be 'worthless', 'theraphic' should be 'therapeutic', 'councling' to 'counseling', 'lets' should be 'let’s', 'fit to some extant' should be 'fit to some extent', 'sorroundings' should be 'surroundings', 'clearify' should be 'clarify', and 'crucial' instead of 'curical'.
clarity
Make sure to clearly differentiate between your own opinion and the viewpoints you discuss. Add a more specific conclusion summarizing the main points and reiterating your stance clearly.
coherence
To increase coherence, use more transitional phrases to connect ideas smoothly. For instance, 'Furthermore', 'In addition', and 'On the other hand' can help link thoughts.
supporting points
You have provided relevant examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument.
structure
The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay.
balance
The essay covers both viewpoints, which is essential for a balanced discussion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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