IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

International tourism has bought enormous benefit to many places. At the same time, there is concern about its impact on local inhabitants and environment. Do disadvantage outweigh the advantages?

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International tourism is where
tourists
Use synonyms
 around the world gather for vacation. In many places, international tourism brings tremendous benefits, but there are concerns about whether it affects local inhabitants and the environment. Despite the disadvantages, the advantages of
this
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 issue are more significant. 
To begin
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 with, the drawback of
this
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 issue is that foreigners who visit with their culture can influence the local community and have a bad impact.
This
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 happens with
people
Use synonyms
 who start to leave their own culture and switch to foreign cultures, which causes a decrease in love for their own culture.
For instance
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, young
people
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 prefer expensive foreign brands over local products.
This
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 will result in local brands being competitive, and there will be a decline in the local economy.
In addition
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, not a few
tourists
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 who visit create problems in the
tourist
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area
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.
For example
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, fights between
tourists
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 and locals.
This
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 is caused by racism or a lack of respect for others.  Moving to the benefits, perhaps, it might be said that local
people
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 often have small businesses
therefore
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 indirectly
people
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 who visit international
tourist
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 attractions not only buy the merchandise of these small businesses but
also
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 promote their products.
This
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 can help encourage the rapid economy in the
area
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
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, the
government
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 will pay more attention to the
infrastructure
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 in the
tourist
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area
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.
This
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 is because
tourists
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 from various parts of the world are visiting their country, and the
government
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 does not want their country to be known as a country
that is
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 poor in
infrastructure
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.
Therefore
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, the
government
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 tries to always maintain and develop
infrastructure
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 in the
tourist
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area
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. In conclusion, it seems to me that the advantages of
this
Linking Words
 issue are more significant.
This
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 includes an increase in the local economy that makes local
people
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 more prosperous.
also
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,
infrastructure
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that is
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 given more attention by the
government
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.

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Task Achievement
Provide more varied examples and evidence to support your arguments, especially when discussing the disadvantages of international tourism to strengthen that part of your essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, try to transition more smoothly between paragraphs with linking phrases that more clearly show the relationship between your ideas.
Task Achievement
Consider expanding your discussion on the disadvantages to balance your essay more effectively, ensuring both sides of the argument are equally explored.
Coherence & Cohesion
Efficiently introduces and concludes the discussion, framing the topic well for readers.
Task Achievement
Your essay successfully argues your viewpoint that the advantages of international tourism outweigh the disadvantages, showing good task achievement.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay is structured in a logical manner, making it easy for the reader to follow your argumentation.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • enormous benefit
  • impact
  • local inhabitants
  • environment
  • disadvantages
  • outweigh
  • advantages
  • economic benefits
  • job creation
  • cultural exchange
  • infrastructure development
  • promotion
  • local products
  • environmental impact
  • exploitation
  • resources
  • cultural erosion
  • increased cost of living
  • overcrowding
  • congestion
  • balancing
  • benefits
  • disadvantages
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