International tourism has bought enormous benefit to many places. At the same time, there is concern about its impact on local inhabitants and environment. Do disadvantage outweigh the advantages?

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International tourism is where
tourists
around the world gather for vacation. In many places, international tourism brings tremendous benefits, but there are concerns about whether it affects local inhabitants and the environment. Despite the disadvantages, the advantages of
this
issue are more significant. 
To begin
with, the drawback of
this
issue is that foreigners who visit with their culture can influence the local community and have a bad impact.
This
happens with
people
who start to leave their own culture and switch to foreign cultures, which causes a decrease in love for their own culture.
For instance
, young
people
prefer expensive foreign brands over local products.
This
will result in local brands being competitive, and there will be a decline in the local economy.
In addition
, not a few
tourists
who visit create problems in the
tourist
area
.
For example
, fights between
tourists
and locals.
This
is caused by racism or a lack of respect for others.  Moving to the benefits, perhaps, it might be said that local
people
often have small businesses
therefore
indirectly
people
who visit international
tourist
attractions not only buy the merchandise of these small businesses but
also
promote their products.
This
can help encourage the rapid economy in the
area
.
Furthermore
, the
government
will pay more attention to the
infrastructure
in the
tourist
area
.
This
is because
tourists
from various parts of the world are visiting their country, and the
government
does not want their country to be known as a country
that is
poor in
infrastructure
.
Therefore
, the
government
tries to always maintain and develop
infrastructure
in the
tourist
area
. In conclusion, it seems to me that the advantages of
this
issue are more significant.
This
includes an increase in the local economy that makes local
people
more prosperous.
also
,
infrastructure
that is
given more attention by the
government
.
Submitted by bonarpasaribuu on

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Task Achievement
Provide more varied examples and evidence to support your arguments, especially when discussing the disadvantages of international tourism to strengthen that part of your essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, try to transition more smoothly between paragraphs with linking phrases that more clearly show the relationship between your ideas.
Task Achievement
Consider expanding your discussion on the disadvantages to balance your essay more effectively, ensuring both sides of the argument are equally explored.
Coherence & Cohesion
Efficiently introduces and concludes the discussion, framing the topic well for readers.
Task Achievement
Your essay successfully argues your viewpoint that the advantages of international tourism outweigh the disadvantages, showing good task achievement.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay is structured in a logical manner, making it easy for the reader to follow your argumentation.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • enormous benefit
  • impact
  • local inhabitants
  • environment
  • disadvantages
  • outweigh
  • advantages
  • economic benefits
  • job creation
  • cultural exchange
  • infrastructure development
  • promotion
  • local products
  • environmental impact
  • exploitation
  • resources
  • cultural erosion
  • increased cost of living
  • overcrowding
  • congestion
  • balancing
  • benefits
  • disadvantages
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