IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some countries pay extremely high salaries to people. Some people believe that the country must not do that and make a limit for the salaries. Do you agree or disagree?

#countries #salaries #people #country #limit
The number of money that you earn often reflects your social position.
In particular
 countries,
however
, a noticeable rise in pay has been witnessed. When some people claim that it is beneficial, others think that
salaries
 should be limited by the state. I disagree with
this
 statement and believe that government should not monitor the size of the
salaries
. Money reflects your qualifications and skills. If somebody is qualified enough to earn large money he should have the opportunity to do so.
On the other hand
,
while
 pursuing pay restrictions, the state will deprive their citizens of
such
 an opportunity.
Therefore
, people will be suffering from a lack of motivation to work and study.
Furthermore
, it is the market which should be responsible for monitoring the size of the
salaries
. The more a company is eager to pay for your work, the better for you it is.
For instance
, if your boss wants to pay you more than the average salary simply to keep you in the company, he should be able to do it without any violation of the statal law.
In contrast
, if
such
 a practice is forbidden, companies won't be able to compete with each other in terms of salary height;
consequently
, a downward trend in the market development will be experienced. In conclusion, in my opinion, governments should not set a limit on
salaries
. First of all, we have to bear in mind that the size of our pay reflects our skills and qualifications.
Secondly
, it is the market which should not only provide the job
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
 determine the height of the
salaries
.
Submitted by kuba.glogowski on

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task response
Try to include more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments, which will make your essay more compelling and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph is fully developed with clear topic sentences and explanations to improve the logical structure and strength of your essay.
task response
The essay effectively presents a clear position on the topic and maintains it throughout the response.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, providing a clear overview and summary of the main points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic inequality
  • civil unrest
  • motivation
  • productivity
  • brain drain
  • standard of living
  • societal well-being
  • tax revenues
  • public services
  • infrastructure
  • economic growth
  • consumer spending
  • meritocratic society
  • barrier to entry
  • diversity
  • innovation
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