Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Others people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #attention

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Nowadays, the advertising industry has expanded.

Although

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some opine that most

people

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's purchases are occurred because of advertisements, some others argue that

such

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procedure has become conventional and it is

not

Correct your spelling

show examples

anymore

Replace the word

any more

show examples

attractive for individuals. I agree with the first perspective and both notions will be discussed in the following paragraphs. As mentioned above, some are of the opinion that advertising does not play an efficient role in

people

Use synonyms

's decisions to purchase any products.

In other words

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people

Use synonyms

used to watch various kinds of commercials on different platforms

such

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as advertisements on films, series, concerts, football matches and billboards in the streets.

Therefore

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due to

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confronting the numerous numbers of them during the routine life, they are not eye-catching to gain attention.

Besides

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, in

this

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group's point of view,

people

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's trust has been betrayed by some fake advertising,

hence

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they do not count

such

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subject

Fix the agreement mistake

subjects

show examples

trustworthy, and they will ignore them. Others and I,

however

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, firmly believe that the expansion of

such

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industry

Correct article usage

an industry

show examples

vastly impresses

people

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and convinces them to buy excessively.

For example

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, the cosmetic sector is one of the industries which make a huge profit from commercials; when a product is launched in

this

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segment, many influencers and bloggers start using and advertising it on social media. In order to

this

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fact, contemporary individuals who are impressed by

such

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people

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will be induced to buy that item.

Furthermore

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, there are some impressive brands which not only have an effect on their markets

Remove the comma

apply

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but

also

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influence other departments.

For instance

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, some investigations demonstrate that there is an international brand of cafe that affects

estate

Correct article usage

the estate

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market by creating a new branch in a novel area,

people

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buy new houses in that district as they are sure the fee rank of accommodations in

this

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zone will increase because of that

such

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action. In conclusion, there are two viewpoints about advertising:

first,

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it is not influential anymore;

second,

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it always has a significant effect on

people

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to purchase, the idea which I agree with as various kinds of advertisement in modern ways will follow

people

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to buy.

Submitted by shaghayegh95shadman on Thu Sep 26 2024

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task achievement

In the introduction, it's important to clearly outline both views before stating your opinion. Mention both points of view briefly before moving on to your thesis statement. This makes the discussion clearer from the outset.

task achievement

While you provide examples to support your ideas, try to make them more specific and aligned with the points you're making. This ensures that your examples are always reinforcing your argument effectively.

coherence cohesion

Each paragraph should have a clear topic sentence that directly relates to your main thesis. This helps guide the reader and enhances the overall clarity of your argument.

coherence cohesion

There are minor grammatical and lexical inaccuracies that can be improved. For instance, using phrases like “trust has been betrayed” can be simplified to “people have lost trust due to fake advertisements.” These changes can make your writing clearer and more direct.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both views, and a conclusion. This logical structure considerably aids readability.

task achievement

The use of relevant examples, such as the impact of cosmetic advertisements and international brands, strengthens your arguments and makes your points more persuasive.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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15
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

345 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

persuade
promote
attract
influence
impact
consumerism
commercialism
market
product
brand
endorsement
manipulative
saturated
overwhelmed
repetitive
distracting
irrelevant
exaggerated
misleading
desensitized

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Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Others people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Children are now facing educational, social, and commercial pressure. What are the causes of these pressures? What measures can be taken to reduce them?

How important is the dress code in our lives? Do you consider that dressing appropriately is important or are you of the opinion that everyone should be able to wear exactly what they like?

Some people think it is better for one single legal system throughout the world. Others say countries should have their own law. Discuss both view and give your opinion

1.Today, lots of people have their own computer and a telephone, which made it easy for people to do job at their home. Does working at home have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Nowadays, the mobile phone plays a major role in our lives, which brings many benefits to us but also contains some drawbacks. What are the advantages and disadvantages?