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Band 5

Life now is better than it was 100 years ago. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statment? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience.

#life #years #statment #reason
It is argued that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
today
's
life
 is way better
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 the
life
 in the past
time
. But the question arises in our mind, what makes
life
 better
today
 and how was
life
 in past? I completely agree with the idea and will support my opinion in the essay. Commencing to the idea that
life
 is better
today
,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is a fact. The advancement in science and technology has made things easier for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 in many ways.
Firstly
, transportation is the most prominent example in
this
 regard. The invention of cars, buses, trains and aeroplanes
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 made
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 easier
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the residents. As cars were less common in the past and
people
 used to spend several days or months
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
moving from one place to another.
Secondly
,
invention
Add an article
the invention
an invention
show examples
 of smartphones and
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
, have made the world a global village.
As it
Correct word choice
It
show examples
 is considered
easy
Correct article usage
an easy
show examples
mean
Fix the agreement mistake
means
show examples
 of communication and
also
,
it
Correct word choice
and it
show examples
 has
connected
Rephrase
also connected
show examples
 individuals of one state to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individuals of other nations.
However
, 100 years before, it was hard for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 to connect to their
love
Replace the word
loved
show examples
 ones who were living far from them.
Also
, they used to send letters to each
others
Change to a singular noun
other
show examples
, which was a
time consuming
Add a hyphen
time-consuming
show examples
 act.
Thirdly
,
invention
Add an article
the invention
an invention
show examples
 of different electric machinery
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 helped
people
 in many ways.
For instance
, in
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
people
 used to wash
cloths
Correct your spelling
clothes
show examples
 with
hands
Correct pronoun usage
their hands
show examples
 but now washing
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
 have created
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
ease for them. So, in
this
 regard,
today
's
life
 is far more better
then
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
 it was 100 years ago.
Moreover
, it is
also
 said that old is gold.
Old
Add an article
The old
show examples
life
 had its own charm
likewise
,
Add an article
the
show examples
air was fresh and less polluted in past.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 mud homes were naturally cool and did not need AC in it.
Aditionally
Correct your spelling
Additionally
, as there was no sense of smartphones, so
people
 used to spend quality
time
 with their friends and family, which
today
's generation lacks, but it is
also
 a fact that
life
 without facilities, is nothing.
Hence
, it is proven from the above argument that
although
 past
time
 had its own charm
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
it
lacks
Wrong verb form
lacked
show examples
facilities
Correct article usage
the facilities
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
that
today
's world
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
.
Advancement
Fix the agreement mistake
Advancements
show examples
 in the field of science have made
life
 easier.
Submitted by hadiyanasir73 on

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clarity
To improve clarity, make sure that each point is clearly connected to the main argument and avoid repetition. For instance, when discussing technology, transportation and communication could be elaborated separately rather than combined under a single point.
examples
For a higher score, ensure that your examples are detailed and specific. For example, when discussing the ease of communication, mentioning specific instances or timeframes can make your argument stronger.
language
Pay attention to language accuracy. There are a few grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that can be improved. For instance, 'then' should be 'than', and 'cloths' should be 'clothes'. Proofreading your work will help catch these errors.
examples
Good use of examples to support points, such as transportation and communication advancements.
structure
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in maintaining a structured format.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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