In some culture are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. what are the advantages and more disadvantages of giving children these massages?
Hard
work
is a
key to success.In many cultures, Correct article usage
the
children
are pushed to the idea that they can achieve anything through hard work
.In this
essay drawbacks and positive aspects of this
approach will be discussed.
On the one hand,children
are said that they can achieve everything with hard work
,it may be sometimes advantageous,firstly
hard work
is very necessary for success and achievement of goals like becoming a professional furthermore
children
do hardworking to get high grades, to get first position in a competitive.so they learn that everything can be achieved through hard work
however
nothing can defeat them.for example
, in many houses, it is often said by a parent to their children
you can achieve everything by hard work
.besides
this
, hard work
is very necessary to enhance self-confidence in children
.In schools, children
grow up with their same-age peers, and failure leads them to neglect in
the class which lowers their self-confidence.
Change preposition
apply
On the other hand
,some drawbacks of the idea are that children
do not accept their failure in some situations which causes depression, and sometimes leads to suicidal ideation because they are firm with the idea they can achieve everything through hard work
.secondly
, it burns children
's energy and makes them less efficient because hard work
consumes a lot of time that is
why it becomes children
forget to see other aspects of the phenomenon and hence
they become less efficient.For instance
, In Pakistan, most of
Change preposition
apply
children
suicide because of failure in spite of doing very hard work
.
To sum up
,some time being hard work
leads to achievement and success while
sometimes it has a
worst effects like health issues.there should be a balance between their advantages and disadvantages for Change the article
the
overall
well-being.Submitted by madihaali8470 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear and structured introduction, body, and conclusion. The introduction should present the main idea clearly, and the conclusion should effectively summarize the main points discussed.
coherence cohesion
Work on enhancing the logical flow of your arguments. Ensure that each point leads smoothly to the next and is connected with appropriate transitional phrases.
task response
Develop your main points with greater depth and clarity. Provide more detailed examples and explanations to support your ideas.
task response
Avoid redundancy and ensure each sentence contributes new information to your argument. This will help maintain the reader's interest and enhance clarity.
task response
You've successfully addressed both the advantages and disadvantages of the topic, ensuring a balanced view.
task response
Your essay includes relevant examples, such as the one about children in Pakistan, which helps to illustrate your points effectively.
coherence cohesion
You've made a commendable effort in organizing your essay into distinct paragraphs, which helps in separating different ideas.
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