IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that the best way to improve road transport safe is to let the driver test each year. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#people #road #transport #driver #test #year
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A group of populations believe that it is important to enhance the safety of
roads
Use synonyms
 and need to hold driving tests annually for drivers. I do not subscribe to
this
Linking Words
 perspective owing to the fact that developing not only
roads
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 but
also
Linking Words
 infrastructure and obtaining the driving licence of at-risk driver groups have more impact on society. On the one hand, the fact
that is
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 really crucial is that most accidents are the result of unsafe
roads
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, so governments have to invest
this
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 finance in building a number of highways and increasing the width of the streets
instead
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 of funding a lot of money on driving testing.
In addition
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, the figure of facilities near the
roads
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 namely, gas stations, diners, motels, and so on ought to climb.
For example
Linking Words
, when the driver can find a place to take a nap on the
roads
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, they do not have an accident for getting tired.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, when police get the driver's licence and car of the drivers who disobeyed of driving law for a long time, the number of accidents is reduced. In fact, most accidents on the
roads
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 are a consequence of driving at high speed and breaking the law of driving.
Thereafter
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, people are encouraged to obey the rules for saving their cars.
To sum up
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, in my opinion, a driving test every year needs too much money.
While
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 changing the
roads
Use synonyms
 to the safe ones with high amenities and obtaining the driving licences, altering the public's behaviour.
Therefore
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,
this
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 matter changed to a safe situation.
Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on

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task achievement
For a complete response, you should tackle both sides of the argument or provide a clearer stance on why you disagree. You should also elaborate on any additional measures apart from annual tests to improve road safety.
task achievement
Try to develop your ideas further, providing more detailed explanations for your points. This will make your arguments clearer and more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph's ideas flow smoothly into the next. You could use linking words more effectively to improve the flow of ideas.
introduction conclusion present
You have a clear introduction that states your position on the topic.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay ends with a conclusion that summarizes your main points well.
supported main points
Your points about road safety infrastructure and enforcing driving laws are relevant and well-founded.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • road transport safety
  • traffic rules
  • competency
  • awareness
  • complacent
  • infrastructure
  • public transport
  • road safety education
  • at-risk driver groups
  • telecommunications
  • driver monitoring systems
  • driving behavior
  • administrative resources
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