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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart shows the number of male and female students doing scientific research across a range of disciplines at a UK university in 2009.

The bar chart shows the number of male and female students doing scientific research across a range of disciplines at a UK university in 2009.
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The provided chart compares the
number
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 of UK
students
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, divided by gender, who
conduct
Wrong verb form
conducted
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 research
in
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on
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 6 different scientific topics in 2009.
Overall
Linking Words
, biology was the most popular discipline out of the other categories and veterinary
medicine
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 was chosen the least. The
number
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 of male
students
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were
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was
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 higher in all topics, except for the animal-related field. Biology and physics shared a similar
number
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 of male
students
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 with around 240 and 230 respectively.
Similarly
Linking Words
, astronomy and geology had the same exact
number
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 with 150 male
students
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.
Medicine
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also
Linking Words
 had a quite big
number
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 accounting
200
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for 200
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 male
students
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.
Lastly
Linking Words
, veterinary
medicine
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 had the smallest proportion with only a
three quarter
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three-quarter
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 of male
students
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. The
number
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 of female
students
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 choosing biology was the highest compared to the other categories, with 200
students
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. Followed by
medicine
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 with approximately 175 female
students
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.
In contrast
Linking Words
 with male
students
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, veterinary
medicine
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 was popular among female
students
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which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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reached
Wrong verb form
reaching
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to
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apply
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around 110. There were fewer than 100 female
students
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 who chose astronomy and geology, with 75 and 60
students
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 respectively. The discipline that was chosen the least in the
women
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women's
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categoty
Correct your spelling
category
 was physics with just 40 female
students
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.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, students, medicine with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender distribution
  • scientific disciplines
  • disciplines
  • societal expectations
  • educational opportunities
  • gender disparities
  • notable trends
  • implications
  • scientific community
  • research output
  • educational reforms
  • policies
  • awareness
  • inclusivity
  • diversity programs
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